Shades of Kagan

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Avian Burn's Point of View

How it is possible that a stare can make me feel nervous like this? Pinagmasdan ko ang papalayong bulto ni Kagan. Bago siya mawala sa paningin ko ay doon ko lang napansin na pinipigilan ko palang huminga.

I fill my lungs with air and exhale loudly. When I collected myself, I decided to attend my elective class. I wonder why I took creative writing as my English elective course. It's not like I am interested in writing. Maybe the reason was this is the first elective course in the list. Kaya bago ko pa mabasa ang pangalawang elective course na inooffer ng school ay ito na ang pinili ko.

"Why do you people write?" That was the first question the professor asked when she entered the room. Everyone stayed quiet.

"To express," the girl with red hair said.

"To be immortal." The other guy said. Professor Collins nodded her head.

"Your classmate is right. Books outlive humans. If you make something when you're living, and when you finally meet your death, you'll be remembered through your works. That's how immortality in literature works. Baka kasi ang inaakala ng iba dyan ay habambuhay ka talagang mabubuhay." The professor explained, and some of the students laughed.

"Take Jose Rizal, for example. He was dead. Pero bakit inaalala pa rin natin siya? It's because of his heroic deeds and works. He left a mark in this physical world, so we can say he's immortal. Writing is one of the many ways how to live a mark." She said as she scanned the room.

"Anything else?"

"To bridge the gap between the known and the unknown."

Why do I write? I contemplated. No, the question is, why I'm even here? It's not like I really write. I stopped writing four years ago. I stopped doing things that reminded me of Emma, including writing.

"I write to show my thoughts to the readers."

"Well done. And now, for the last answer," Professor Collins said as she bore her eyes on me.

"To the lady at the back, can you share your thoughts in class?" Lahat ay napatingin na sa akin. Ramdam ko ang kaba ko dahil hindi naman ako madalas magparticipate sa mga ganito.

"Why do you write?" She asked again. I started to get fidgety now that they were all looking at me. What should I say? Should I make something up or just plainly be honest? After long contemplation, I chose the latter.

"To stop existing." Some student gasped but I focus my attention to the white board in front. The professor, however, looked satisfied with my answer. May munting mga ngiti ang naglalaro sa kanyang labi bago siya nagsimulang magturo ng kanyang lesson.

"I have few requirements to pass this course. You have to group yourselves into two and make something that will help you leave a mark in this world. I'll email the deadlines and the rubrics. You may now go." Dali-dali akong lumabas ng classroom at tsaka dumiretso sa school cafteria. Naabutan ko naman si Klaude na nakaupo na sa madalas namin inuupuan. Thank goodness that the place isn't packed with students. Sabagay, maaga pa para maglunch.

"Hello there, Avi!" I smiled to Klaude when he put the bento lunch box in front of me. Tinotoo talaga ni Kagan na palagi na niya akong dadalhan ng lunch box na gawa ni Reus. The food here in the cafeteria is not bad but I really enjoyed eating food made by Dr. Reus. Ngayon na kasama ko si Klaude ay naalala ko na naman ang usapan namin dalawa ni Nadia. I don't know if I will tell it to him or not. Sa lahat ng nangyari kanina ay biglang nawala sa isip ko si Nadia. She's jealous of me for no reason. I wonder when will be the last time that she will talk to me about Klaude. But then, I keep my mouth shut about Nadia and talk about his twin brother instead.