Huntress (Steve Rogers AU) 18+

19

I don't see Steve at all for the next three days - his time being taken up by frequent patrols (that I swear he's deliberately not telling me about) or in meetings with his father and the advisors. I don't even hear him come to bed and I'm also sure that he's taken to just sleeping in his private study.

So far there have been no more Hydra attacks, although I'm not holding my breath in thinking they'll stop altogether. I'm now finding that I'm spending my days just waiting for Steve to come back to his room or even trying to catch a glimpse of him coming out from a meeting or something.

I finally corner Sam on day four and demand to know where he is. "We've been out at the borders mostly, making sure that's there's extra measures so as the walls hold in case of attack". He finally comes clean to me. "It doesn't surprise me that he's not been sleeping well though. His father has him working round the clock so as the city is safe".

"And yet somehow it's down to Steve alone to deal with this?" My brows furrow together. "Where is he now?"

"I don't know".

That's a lie outright. He's probably instructed Sam not to tell me for fear of me wanting to involve myself. "Where. Is. He?" I now ask slowly through gritted teeth.

Sam sighs in defeat. "His study, although I don't know whether he's got someone in there with him for a meeting".

"I'll soon find out" I state, now turning and walking adamantly to the staircase, my pace quickening step by step until I come to the door to Steve's study, knuckles now knocking hard on the solid wood.

"Come in" his voice comes from inside and I breeze in, closing the door behind me as he looks up and realises I am not one of the advisors that he was most probably expecting.

I stand there and cross my arms. "I thought my job involved being by your side 24/7 ? Keeping you safe from shit like the Hydra incident?"

He stares at me. "Incase you haven't forgotten - I also tell you when you are to do your job. Currently I'm wrapped up in meetings which you don't need to be present in".

"No but actually telling me you're going out on fucking patrol would be nice? You know, so I can go with you as your guard"

Not his lover, or whore - whatever you want to call me. His guard. The job I was drafted in to undertake by way of thanks.

He puts the papers in his hands down and sits back. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you involving yourself- if something happened to you while we are out..."

"And what's to say that while you're out that something won't happen here?" I throw him that scenario. "What's to say that you won't come back one day and find us dead?"

"Hale..." he shoots me a warning look. "This is serious".

"And that's exactly what I'm being right now". I tell him. "I was given a job and right now? You seem to think that I'm a piece of glass that can shatter at anything - and you know I am not. I saved your ass, showed you exactly what I'm capable of and yet you still shut yourself off from me?"

He hasn't even seen half of the shit that I'm capable of doing. I don't want him to see that side ever - but if war ever comes then I may just be forced to take drastic measures to ensure the safety of him and his family.

"I don't think that..." he begins

"So why are you avoiding me! Keeping things from me?"

His hands slam against the table as he rises up, temper flaring a little. "Because I don't need to tell you anything!" And there it is, the first time I see his eyes raging. "If I tell you to guard, then you guard. If I tell you to stay behind? You stay behind!"

"And if you tell me to fucking sit or roll over do you seriously expect me to do that too?" I bite back, the anger now rising in me at the fact his opinion seems to have changed of me.

"You are a part of the household, you do as I tell you to when I see fit. You don't need to involve yourself in matters that don't concern you".

"When it's your safety involved then I do!"

"And what about yours!"

We're engaged in a full on shouting match now, anyone passing outside will hear everything that's said but currently I don't care who knows.

"I've survived for years and I'm still here!" I snap, "I hard to learn the hard way and it's only made me stronger. If I die then I die! It's the way the world goes Steve!"

"Not when I'll be still living in it without you!" We both fall silent after his words all but echo around the room. He looks wry now and I feel guilty for adding more to the stress that he's already under. "I can't live in a world without you. I've already told you I wanted you for more than just guarding me. But you are more than that Hale. I knew it from the moment I met you - you were meant for more than this".

"I just wish you would be more open with me". I back down, mental daggers withdrawing and sheathing themselves back in the depths of my mind.

He looks at me. "How can I when I know that we can't be more than what we already are. Even you said that yourself when this agreement begun". He braces himself against the table, head now hung. "I'm already in too deep Hale, but I'm trying not to let myself drown for the sake of keeping things together when I do finally let you go".

I'd forgotten that this could never be. That one day he'd be giving his heart to someone else, even though mine would always belong to him.

Now swallowing the lump in my throat, I finally speak. "I'm always at your service whenever you need, my lord. If you don't want me to involve myself then I accept your decision, and will no longer challenge you on it".

Then I'm gone, leaving him no time to answer or even follow me. It is clear where we now stand with one another.