Two Worlds Distanced

Chapter 101

RACHEL

I can already feel all of my nerves getting colder and nonexistent the longer I stay here outside in the cold; I try my best to calm my freezing nerves before I have the talk with my birth mother in two different ways. One way, Raven tells me the whole truth about my past that got easily destroyed and broken in every way possible; the other different conversation that I'm sure will go as me leaving the same way I was before meeting Ezra.

All I can do is think about not seeing or hearing from her. I wasn't surprised that she didn't try to contact me during my birthday last month although I have crystal clear memories from her never getting me anything from my birthday beside a simple card saying, 'Happy Birthday. Go buy something,' a twenty dollar bill taped on it. I was only ten years old during that time and it was the last time I saw her. I spent the money on a soda and a movie from Blockbuster, I walked inside and took a few steps towards the gated front desk, "Hi, I'm here to see someone but I'm not on the list–" the lady whose hair is red as a cherry tells me, "Sorry Ms. You can't see anyone unless you are a relative or friend to an inmate," she answers when sliding a clipboard over to me.

I grab it, shake my head, and its complete proof that this woman who birthed me still has power and her demons over me; but I need to face my fears and reality to do so. I dropped the clipboard, looked behind and it's Cameron Franklin, Raven's lawyer, "Sorry to scare you like that. I'm just on my way out and I'm guessing you are here to see your mother. If I'm right?" he questions then closes his briefcase before seeing her files in there that say liar written all over, "Officer Gretchen?". The lady nods okay then flash a toothy smile like she's trying to flirt with someone who's old enough to be her older brother, "Ms. Carson is with me and we are here to see a client of mine. Raven Williams,". As much I want to grab his briefcase along with her file and run away with the evidence. I'm standing here biting my words and tongue.

"Who are you?" she asks, I take a hard swallow, "Um I-I'm her daughter," I respond

"Okay, I will be right back. Just stay here," she says as walking away with Raven's file in her hand.

...

"Are you sure you are going to be okay? We can leave anytime," Cameron asks me the same damn question he asked fifteen minutes ago. When asking the same question, like the certain one, it's making me more nervous than I already am.

"Yeah, just a little nervous. Okay?" I snapped back when I didn't mean to. Yet I lied saying I'm a little nervous when I'm a lot nervous. I think the last time I was this nervous when seeing someone was when I saw Wyatt months ago. Wyatt's mother gave birth to Satan even though his mother Cheryl was a gem.

But if his mother was satan, it would be my mother. Ruthless and heartless without thinking twice.

For the next fifteen minutes I continue counting my fingers like I always do when I'm nervous, I get it from my father. I hear the door creak open and some chains dragging into the floor. The chains are attached to her wrists and ankles; it's so strange to see her this way, unbrushed, salt and pepper hair and no makeup. I remember every time a cable guy who she thought was cute came to the house when dad was out due to weekly business trips. She would simply pretend to be single, and spend an hour on hair and makeup to be perfect. I wasn't allowed to play with makeup or dress up like the other girls around my age.

"Well well well Mr. Franky. I thought you were not supposed to come back until next week? I guess you missed me," she questions in a flirty tone. Of course she would try to flirt her way off of here and anyone like her lawyer who's obviously married from the shiny ring on his finger. I stare at her for a moment with a sign of hatiage because we look alike.

Raven begins to laugh, "Oh come on. I know you like that," she sits down in front of me without realizing it's me, "I mean we have been knowing each other for four months now so we should go by first names, Cameron," she jokes as well laughs. Her laugh sounds like the creepy laugh that the joker would do after something devilish. Which is something my mother and the joker have in common, being the devil.

"Holy fucking shit," my mother says as we become face to face.

"Language, Ms. Williams. If you two want some alone time I will,"

"LEAVE!" Raven and I say it at the same time. Cameron nods, and surprisingly leaves her file on the table in front of me before leaving the room with the last drop of my dignity. I look at her, then look at her file, "So this is how it's going to me. One, I ask a question. You will only answer very honestly. One bullshit lie and I lie and never come back,".

"Okay that's fair," she folds her hands and trying to see what's in her file and I push it aside so she doesn't try anything, "What do you want to know?" she wonders when to continue trying to look at the file, and one quick move I move the file under me. I feel like an investor in Criminal Minds or Law & Order trying to dig under the dirt to find the evidence. I need to stop watching crime shows at night time but it's like my comfort show, " I don't know what to ask. I guess let's start from the beginning," I demand and she nods.

I know that either way, I will still regret seeing her. Good or bad, regretment comes too quickly than the raw honest truth.