Two Worlds Distanced

Chapter 105

RACHEL

After four hours of flying on the last-minute flight Ezra paid for with his flying money he always has around out of thin air. I didn't care how much it was or how long it was going to be until we could get far away from my hometown. I honestly feel so stupid that I thought this Christmas was going to be different or even same as the other Christmas I have before left for school or before meeting Ezra; instead of spending time with people I love during the holidays, I got to spend time seeing my parents spreading all of the reasons of why I left for good for reasons.

I can easily list so many reasons why, but the reasons that dug a knife into my heart and twist it a little to hurt the most, finding out what my father did to my mother. For why I existed in the fucked-up world, and seeing witnessing my father who isn't who I though he was, when I was completely wrong for the last twenty years. I hated leaving Angela like the way I did. I may be the daughter in the equation but being Angela who has to witness everything will be the whole solution of all the reasons for not coming back.

...

When walking back into the apartment, I don't remember the last time I said a words to Ezra, or anyone because ever since I was little, I was always excited to talk about the trip I just took or look the thousands pictures I took but this trip was a disaster from the beginning, from running away from Ezra from all the pain he caused me, now I'm still running away from the pain that my parents caused me. This trip wasn't with fun or pictures, just a broken family from the fairytale it once was and tears that I drown in with my own tears. I just want to drown my own soars in a bottle of whiskey like I have done for the last sixteen hours.

"Hey,". I turn around, set my suitcase next to my feet that feels like ice cubes due to the four inches of snow that comes, "I'm going to grab the rest of the stuff of the car, will you be, okay?" he wonders as dusting off of all the snow on his beanie. I stare for a second and give him one head nod before I crawl up back into a ball. He nods, walks back to the door, and I stare for a second, and give him a slight smile before I can crawl back into a ball. I turn on the thermostat before taking off my winter clothes and shoes, then run towards the kitchen to search for any liquor Ezra has stored in here but by checking all around the cabinets and pantries, I still haven't found anything. Where else would you keep a bottle or two at?

I run my cold hands over my face in frustration as I grab my coat and shoes to shove them inside the closet in the guest bedroom that nobody stays in. I turn on the light in the closet, hang up my coat and find a bottle of whiskey on the shelf and grab it. Before wanting to pull the cork cap off, I hear my phone start buzzing.

It's from Ezra. *Hey, I'm going get some pizza. Just wanted to let you know. Love you*

I shrugged my shoulders, annoyed my phone and popped off the cap and started drinking. This is what I needed. Now I understand why Ezra started drinking to feel free but also he drinks his problems away. It's what I'm doing right now. I continue drinking until I reach back to the living room and drag my suitcase to the bedroom.

I will unpack and drink, I mean it's not what most twenty ones do but most twenty one's probably wouldn't have to handle what I had to handle in the last few weeks. A broken family. An broken heart.

...

An half hour later, still no call or text from Ezra. He was probably shopping or something since Christmas is least a few days away and I still haven't gotten anything like present wise or decorations for the apartment. I step out of the shower, and grab both of the towels, one for my hair and body. Speaking of hair, I need it done, I have gotten done since before I came to school.

I look in the steamy mirror, brush my hair out and open the second towel around my body to go back to the bedroom to change into some comfy and when I say comfort, I actually mean into Ezra's t-shirts that huge on me. I love smelling like him when it comes to wearing his clothes. When going into the bedroom closet, the front closes, and the smell of Chinese food starts smelling throughout the house, "Honey I'm home," Ezra yells out.

I don't answer back. I throw my wet towel from my dampest hair on the floor, slip on some underwear when something catches my eye on the floor in the corner. I go lock the door, so Ezra thinks I'm sleeping. He hates when I snoop but I need to see what this is and it's his journal but there's more than one.

*Journal entries*

Entry # 1: Dealing a bet with fortune and money is like a meaningless job that you have to do to pay off some dent. I had to win to win off a girl's secure and vulnerable state of a body to take a virginity from some name Rachel Carson. It's a stupid bet to play but I will do it since I got the winning deck.

Entry # 2: I followed her down the street towards...

I wipe tears away before I turn the page to continue reading this. This is what he has been writing since we met and one of the many reasons why I should've never given him another chance. Why did I do that?

"Honey, I'm home," I hear Ezra yelling throughout the house again and putting something on the counter. It's probably maybe, I'm not hungry. I rush towards the door and lock it so I don't have to see his face. I can't believe he wrote something like this about me; there's a knock on the door, then he jingles the knob, "I got food. Chinese, Your favorite. It will be out here when you are ready, I guess," he says then leaves.

I shake my head, grab the journal roughly then stomp my way to the kitchen to confirm him. I just can't catch a break.