Phoenix - A Zutara Titanic AU

Chapter 1: The Ship of Dreams

It came as no surprise that Fire Lord Ozai named it the Phoenix. Zuko had experienced, upon learning the ship's name, the briefest flicker of an impulse to scoff and roll his eyes, which he'd promptly snuffed out the moment it arrived. He had long grown weary of hearing the word phoenix uttered from his father's mouth, and he knew this more acutely than ever—not without a shade of panic and shame at his own disrespectfulness—when Ozai had announced his latest project. At first, it had struck Zuko as strange. Ozai had described his plan as an attempt to gain favor with the people he ruled, as well as those he did not. He'd never seemed particularly interested in such things before, preferring to study battle tactics and manage his people with military force. Zuko had tentatively inquired about this to his sister, who was always infuriatingly perceptive and answered with ease.

"The Earth Kingdom has formed an official alliance with the Water Tribes," she'd said, with a certain smugness to her tone and the ever-present ghost of a smirk on her lips. "They announced the alliance publicly just days before the Southern Tribe made another request—something about returning Water Tribe citizens who'd been imprisoned on Fire Nation soil so they could be tried again in their homeland. It's no coincidence; we've been on thin ice with the Water Tribes for decades, and now they have support in case the conflict boils over. Father will never admit it, but he knows he can't win against the Earth Kingdom. We need to close the rift. The Phoenix is a demonstration of the Fire Nation's grandeur and a gift to all the undeserving peasants who, until now, could only dream of traveling, let alone in such a luxurious vessel. Father wants to use it to improve the Fire Nation's public image and avoid further conflict."

"But that's so out of character for him," Zuko had protested.

"Perhaps." Azula sighed in frustration. "If only we could have settled the scores without any threats of Earth Kingdom intervention. Now they've made it official and completely immobilized us. It's absurd. Father shouldn't have to kiss up to the other nations like this."

"Do you think it'll work?"

"I think that in the end, those Water Tribe peasants will know what's good for them," Azula had replied with a toss of those two impeccable locks of hair that always framed her face.

Since then, Zuko could only speculate about his father's ulterior motives. He knew better than to believe that the Phoenix was merely a gift being offered to the other nations. It pained him to know better; there was once a time when he never would have suspected a thing, when he would have wholeheartedly trusted his father's assurances. He wished he could return to that state. It angered him every time another doubt crept up his spine. Only Azula seemed to notice his perpetual agitation, and she never missed an opportunity to taunt him about it in the most discreet manners that only he would understand. That angered him more.

Zuko felt feverish in the days preceding the launch of the Phoenix. He hardly slept, and he couldn't stomach much food. Azula kept sending him passing smirks, and he barely kept from setting something on fire. A small part of him wished that someone other than Azula would notice his unease, but this sentiment was greatly overwhelmed by the need to conceal his troubles. He could not bear to think how people would react if they found out. It would be embarrassing, if not dangerous, to let himself slip.

The night before their departure, Zuko snapped awake in the dead of night after a stream of nightmares. As if time had skipped, he incomprehensibly found himself kneeling in the bathroom and heaving into the toilet. He was shaking when he finished. He couldn't bring himself to stand up, to move at all, and simply stared down at his lap and let his eyes unfocus and breathed several trembling breaths before he heard something approach him from behind. "You're pathetic," said Azula's voice.