I believe loneliness can kill you because it killed me. By dead, I mean who I am was killed.
I don't have a good memory, but most of what I remember is being alone. There was a time when it didn't bother me. A time when, if I was bored, I would go outside with my dogs or look in my dads yellow tool box and try to make stuff with nails and whatever else was in there. A time I wasn't completely alone yet. As I got older, the loneliness should have hurt more, but I didn't notice the pain. It was like I was shot, I felt no pain because it ended me instantly.
I don't really remember elementary, but I know my loneliness escalated in fourth grade, and that it got worse through fifth grade. I remember I began to cry until I fell asleep. I remember wanting to play with my friend, but not getting the chance to because his mom would pick him up before we could play.
In fifth grade I was alone, and by the end I hated this, that, and myself. I was ten years old and the thought of falling forever was pleasing. I know there's a saying that what you love is who you are, but what I loved couldn't stop who I am from disappearing.
With the cloudy weather, my sadness and loneliness, the world became gloomy. Colors weren't happy in a place I saw little good. They were just colors. Not happy, mad, lovey-dovey, or sad; colors were really just colors. I guess when you're dying, you're not the only part of your body that stops caring.
By the time graduation came around I was rather happy to leave. Of course there were some things and a few people I would miss, but I referee to that school as a hole.
Loneliness had officially killed me. Sadly, I didn't know this until maybe last year. I didn't realize being alone during the rough patches wa killing me. I died because I was left alone, in the dark, to do nothing but cry and hate myself. I believe loneliness can kill you, because it killed me.
"Sadly, it is not till you're dead, literally or metaphorically, that people start listening." -Victoria 3/18/13 10:11 p.m...
"Sadly, it is not until long after you're dead that you've began to speak up and that you're heard." 3/18/13 10:15 p.m
