Crestfallen [COMPLETED]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ - 13

Joanna

The room was quiet, the air heavy with a sense of emptiness that seemed to envelop everything around me.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my hand resting on my belly, feeling the absence of the life that had once been growing inside me.

The weight of what had happened bore down on me, a crushing realization that I had made a choice that could never be undone.

Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I tried to process the magnitude of what I had done.

The sound of my own sobs filled the room.
The echoes of my grief a painful reminder of the life that had been lost. It felt like a nightmare, a nightmare that I could never wake up from.

I thought about the future that I would never get to witness.  All of those things I watched, other people associate with a baby.

The first breath, curling their tiny fingers around the thumb, the kicks, the late-night feedings and sleepless nights.

How it felt like, being a mother.

All of it was gone, replaced by an overwhelming emptiness that seemed to consume me.

I closed my eyes, the guilt and anguish washing over me in relentless waves.

I had made the choice out of love, out of a desperate desire to protect my child from a world filled with pain and uncertainty.

And to protect my husband from the grief drowning him.

But now, in the aftermath, all I could feel was the weight of my decision.

I hugged myself tightly, as if trying to hold onto the memory of my baby that had been a part of me for such a short time.

The tears continued to fall, my body shaking with the force of my grief. I felt a profound sense of emptiness, a hollowness that seemed to stretch to the depths of my soul.

As I sat there, my heart breaking, I couldn't help but think of Alex. The man I loved, the man who was battling his own demons.

I had done it for him, he needed me more than anything.

Alex's footsteps echoed softly in the room, and I turned to see him standing there, his eyes searching mine with a mix of concern and confusion.

"Jo, what happened?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes once again, my heart aching at the sight of him. I took a shaky breath, trying to find the words to explain the unexplain able, to convey the depth of my pain.

But the truth was too raw, too overwhelming to put into words.

I stepped towards him, my arms reaching out, and he instinctively moved closer, his arms enveloping me in a tight embrace.

"Alex, don't ask," I whispered, my voice quivering with emotion.

"Just hold me, please. Just for a few seconds. Please."

He held me close, his embrace offering a fleeting sense of comfort.

I buried my face in his chest, my tears soaking into his shirt, as I clung to him as if he were my lifeline. In that moment, all I needed was his presence, his warmth, his silent under
standing.

His arms tightened around me, and I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek, steady and reassuring.

He didn't press for answers, didn't demand to know what had happened. He simply held me.

For those few precious seconds, as we stood there in each other's arms, the world outside seemed to fade away.

I clung to him, I found a fleeting sense of solace.

The next day, Alex and I sat across from each other, the weight of the previous night's events still lingering in the air between us.

He looked at me with a mixture of remorse and determination, his eyes filled with a sincerity that I hadn't in a long time.

"Jo, I didn't realize,"his voice was soft, his words carrying a tone of regret.

"I didn't know you were so distressed, so deeply affected by everything that's been happening."

I looked at him, my own eyes facading a swirl of emotions, I felt.

He didn't know the truth about the abortion. He didn't know about the child he's had and then lost.

Who's existence he will never know. I had kept so much bottled up inside, my pain and fears, this truth.

That it would be a crushing revelation.

He reached out, his hand finding mine, and he held it gently.

"I promise you, Jo," his voice was unwavering, his gaze steady.

"I'm going to get clean, I'm going to seek therapy, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to become a better guy. Not just for myself, but for you."

Tears welled up in my eyes once again, but this time they were tears of hope.

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Alex, I believe you," my voice wavered, but it was filled with a newfound sense of faith.

"I believe in us, and I believe in your strength to overcome this."

He squeezed my hand, his grip firm and reassuring.

"No matter what the future holds, Jo, I want you to know that I'm going to give it my all. I want to be the man you deserve, the man who can stand by your side through thick and thin."

I knew this would be challenging, the path to healing and redemption fraught with obstacles.

But I believed in Alex. And us.

We could come out of these dark times.