Crestfallen [COMPLETED]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ - 18

Joanna

I get up weakly from the bed, tiptoeing on my feet. And slide closer to the wardrobe. My muscles ache, I came home really late last night.

And my body clearly needs a couple more hours sleep, but routine is essential, so I pick an outfit and waltz silently to the bathroom.

I brush, shower and then dress, sneaking out of it.

My phone lies on the nightstand.
And along with the car keys, I grab all other necessities. Pick my wallet and am ready as ever for work.

I peek a glance at the man, on the other side of the bed. Alex. My husband of five years.

The last anniversary, which I spent here, in this very same living room, pacing back and forth, glancing over at the clock. Waiting for him or even any of the messages but, neither came.

He hasn't touched me in the last six months.
Even though we sleep on the same bed.

I deliberately sleep there, so that he would realize, he would turn around and reach out for me.

I would have still, taken him back.
But he didn't. Not once.

Can Alex and I really fall into routines where we didn't need each other anymore?

I take in a breath, as I storm out of the house. And walk over to my car.

............................................................

I enter the elevator, and briefly check through my emails. Mindlessly scrolling through work messages.
But suddenly, without any warning, the elevator comes to an abrupt stop. My steps falter.

But Jason steadies me.

His fingers linger on my waist a little too long and my breath catches. Sending my mind back to that night, a few months ago.

I had gone out with some of my colleagues. I generally turn down the offer.

I used to return back home, directly from work.
 But then someone used to wait for me. Someone who held me closer to himself as he stroked my hair.

No longer though.

I was too tired of feeling nothing, or insurmountable grief, that had found a permanent residence in me.

Alex's closed off demeanor was a stark reminder.
He had continued to ignore me every day.

And I was so tired of my heart bleeding at his feet everyday. Being offered only his indifference.

I got drunk. Too drunk. I didn't realize but I was flirting with Jason, one of the coworkers I went out with.

Until he got closer in a quiet corner.

I'm attracted to you," Jason's words hung in the air. And I was bewildered by his fucking audacity.

"I'm married," I chuckled, my voice carrying a hint of defensiveness.

I thought everyone in the firm knew that. Did he not?
Or even worse, did he miss the ring on my finger?

"I know," he responded, his gaze steady and unwavering.
The intensity of his stare caught me off guard

"Are you happy though?" His question, truly caught me by surprise.

My eyes widened as his audacity began to feel too wild.

Why did he think he had the right to pry in my marriage?

"Why does it matter to you?" I retorted, my tone sharp with disbelief.

"Looks like you know the answer."

He cocked his head on the other side as if this was nothing to him.

"And so do I .You aren't happy. Your eyes speak volumes, Joanna.
I can see that."

How dare he think he knew me?

"I am happy. And it's none. . ."

He interrupted me, leaning closer, as he brushed his mouth against mine. In the same elevator we are now.

And I stood there frozen.
He had kissed me against my will.
It didn't mean anything, doesn't says that I didn't hate it.

I wanted to tell Alex. I couldn't bear holding back anymore from him.

I had approached him.
But his gaze upon me, was cold
and distant, as if I was not worthy
of his attention or time.

As if he did me a favor by hearing me out.

I hated it so much. His indifference, his detachment.

I had swallowed the truth along with my unspoken words.

The memory of it all leaving a bitter taste in my mouth now.

I step back from Jake's grip. My hand sliding to my neck.

I can't think about that again.

I saunter out of the elevator and close my cabin shut.

I don't know why I didn't report him back now or then.

Maybe Jason didn't mean it then, just had been flirty. I have heard he has a reputation around.

Or maybe, I was just making excuses for him. Maybe I liked it. Him.