Crestfallen [COMPLETED]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ - 17

Joanna

The door closed behind Alex as he stepped in.
He moved towards the bedroom, his steps echoing.

"Where were you?," I asked trying to feign calmness over my aching temples.

"Work," he stated simply irking me further.

"You said we would talk when you return back home.

"I am really tired now," he said not looking back at me as he resumed striding towards the bedroom.

"What is your relationship with that woman?" My voice quivered with desperation as I confronted Alex.

He stopped dead in his track.
Facing me.

"Why are you so attached to her kid? Just because I aborted our baby and you need to look out for other people's kids?"

"Mind what you're saying, Joanna" Alex's retort was sharp, a warning in his tone.

Joanna. Not Jo. Not anymore.

My heart sank, the floodgates of my emotions now open.

"I won't," I whispered, the tears finally rolling down my cheeks, carrying the weight of my pain and frustration.

"Who is she? Tell me!"

"You're acting deranged. You need to cool off," Alex's words were a defense, a way to distance himself from the turmoil that was unfolding.

"No!" I protested, my voice cracking as I fought to hold back sobs.

"You disown me, and you open up to her. Who is she?"

But before I could say more, Alex turned away, his steps carrying him towards the door.

"You're walking away from this? From me?" My voice rose, laced with desperation, as I reached out towards him.

"Wait, come back!"

But he continued walking, his figure retreating from my grasp, and I was left standing there, my shoulders slumping under the weight of my emotions.

I sank to the ground, tears streaming down my face as I cried for the shattered pieces of our relationship.

For the unanswered questions that hung between us, and for the pain that seemed insurmountable.

And neverending.

My sobs echoed in the empty room.

And in that moment of vulnerability, I allowed myself to release the emotions flooding within me.

...............................................................

Alex and I didn't speak for days after that confrontation.

It's night.

As Alex enters the room, his gaze immediately falls on me, clad in a delicate silk robe that softly drapes over my body.

The air is heavy with the tension that has lingered, the unspoken words and unresolved emotions hanging in the silence.

Our eyes meet, and for a fleeting moment, I see a ravenous look flash across in his gaze.

It's as if the weight of our estrangement momentarily fades, replaced by a spark of desire aching to be fulfilled.

It's been so long since we have been intimate. Us. Being caught in the pain past months had been.

Alex begins to leave. And I let the robe slip from my body. As it lands softly on the floor.

He stops midway, his gaze returning back on me.

As it lingers over the swell of my rising chest. The space between my breasts, the lingerie that barely covers me.

If my words can't win him back. My body would.

Even if I am ashamed of myself . This doormat, compromising, desperate, needy self.

Who keeps finding ways to wound herself. But I would go to any lengths for him. Any.

I walk over to where he stands,
my lips brushing against his in a fervent kiss.

Alex freezes for a second. Then kisses me back harder. So much, that it hurts. But I don't want to break apart. Never.

He pulls me by my waist guiding our bodies towards the bed. And I land softly meeting the pillow beneath my head. I touch the length of him through his pants and he groans. He's hard just perfectly , like the ache between my legs blossoming.

His gaze locks on mine, and suddenly he stops kissing me.

Something shifts beneath his eyes. A wary closed off expresion as he rises from the bed.

And walks over to the bathroom.

I lay there, on the bed. Stunned.
I threw myself over, at him, despite everything.
Despite comprising my dignity, and he still left me. He still walked away.

The mattress slumps beside me half an hour later, as he lies on the other side.

I close my eyes too tired of feeling so much.

I wake up. My eyes fluttering open to the sunlight. I turn on Alex's side to find him gone.

My resolute breaks as thick tears cloud my vision, I roll the blanket over me as my sobs echo in the room.

This was the last strand of my courage.

He had killed something in me. When he denied me, left me alone, here in our bed.
Throwing his back on me. Stomping all over my heart.

He reminded me of my sister's betrayal.
Leigh had left me, to cope for myself, alone.

That sixteen year grief stricken teenage me, who hadn't been ready to experience two massive blows.

Losing her parents and her older sibling, all in the same year.

But I had coped back then. I had managed to survive. I had fought all over and won.

But I have no strength left now. Neither the will. I was so tired.

Waiting for him. Longer?
I just can't do it, anymore.