Crestfallen [COMPLETED]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ - 30

Alex

I'm consumed by an unrelenting unease that refuses to subside.

Each day brings with it a growing fear that gnaws at me, refusing to let go.

The realization that there might be someone else in Joanna's life has shaken me to my core.

I never had to feel jealous.
Jo is stunning, it's a fact,and men have always noticed her, turned their heads to stare, to check her out.
But my wife only ever had eyes for me. I trusted her and so did she. That's how it has always been.

Not anymore though, and the thought hurts.
Sleep evades me, replaced by relentless worry that keeps me awake at night, tormenting me further.

Every morning, when I watch Joanna leave for work or return home, my mind is clouded with suspicion.

I used to be able to read her gestures, her body language.

Not anymore. I can't get any idea about her thoughts. Actions.

That's how far we have drifted.

Guilt burdens me heavily.  I secretly installed a tracking app
in her phone.

I can't believe I've stooped to such levels. But my fear has driven me to this point, a point where I can't bear the uncertainty any longer.

My days are consumed by an inner struggle. The doubt that eats at me still raw, making it difficult for me to focus on anything else.

I find myself checking the tracking device repeatedly, everytime she's away from my sight.
Which is the entire day actually.

In case, she checks in a hotel with him. If he actually exists.

The thought alone makes me feel nauseated.

The mere thought of Joanna with someone else, being unfaithful to me, turns my stomach. It's  fills me with anger, jealousy, and despair all at once.

This unease stretches for the entire week, caging my mind in a spiral of fear and doubt.

.....................................................

I step into the balcony, the weight of the day's exhaustion and the burden of my doubts pressing down on me.

I suck in a breath, the starry night sky, ahead of me. As if it relieves me of uncertainties, just this while.
I grip the rail, cherishing every bit of peace.

I turn my head and the sight of Joanna catches my attention.
I stare at her,my eyes tracing the curves of her figure.

My gaze remains fixed on her as she zips up her dress.

That's the sexiest thing she's ever worn. As I watch her, my mouth open, my mind captivated.

She looks breathtaking.

I watch in silence as she dabs a touch of makeup, her smile reflected in the mirror. There's a distant quality to her demeanor.

As if she's preoccupied with thoughts of her own.

I feel a pang of desperation. We've been so distant, so disconnected, and I can't decipher what's real anymore.

I step into the bedroom, my presence making itself known.

As she grabs her purse and turns to leave, I feel a surge of anxiety and a need to know more. My voice cuts through the air.

"Where are you going?" I ask, my words tinged with curiosity . I try to read her expression, searching for any signs of discomfort or guilt.

Her eyes meet mine, and there's a flicker of something in her gaze—a hesitation, a moment of uncertainty.

"It's a work thing. We are meeting at a fellow colleague's place. Celebrating this case our firm won recently," she says, not entirely meeting my gaze.

I offer a nod, acknowledging her explanation, but my doubts remain unresolved.

As she leaves, the weight of my insecurities hangs heavily in the air. The doubts persist, and the fear that . . . . .