Lightning & Thunder

Chapter Twenty-One

Shaking her head and chuckling to herself, she closed the bathroom door and turned her attention to her raggedy reflection in the mirror. It was the first time she had stopped to look at her reflection since she left Bessell's house.

A gasp escaped from her.

She looked awful.

Yellowed bruises lined her skin. They danced from spots on her head, all the way down her neck to where they disappeared below her shirt. She could see where cuts had healed-and were still healing-on herself, and her hair.

Oh god, her hair was an oily, flimsy mess.

Her expression was one of horror.

-oh Goddess. People saw her like this?

Raiden saw her like this and decided he wanted to be around her? Let alone marry her?

Tears threatened to break through. Immediately she stripped all of the clothing off herself, throwing it into a corner of the bathroom. She turned on the shower and jumepd in, dumping different contents of soaps on her, washing, and then re-washing, the paranoia of stink forcing herself to make sure she would never look like that ever again.

She definitely needed makeup to cover up all the bruises.

Then she froze. With what money?

With what money would she buy her things? She did not have her sixty dollars anymore. It was lost within that forest.

It went without saying that Raiden would probably buy everything for her, but something about that felt dirty. It felt like she would never truly own any of her items, like nothing would ever truly be hers.

Was there any way she could make money?

The only experience she had was with chore work and children. Already Raiden did not allow for her to wash her own dishes. She tried after every time they ate, but he would just gently take it from her hands and do it himself.

Surely they had a daycare that she could work in? She wanted to be useful. She wanted control over her own life. She wanted a say in what she could and couldn't do, and she definitely did not want to be a burden to the others around her.

Especially strangers.

There was something about the opinion of strangers that could hurt some of the most.

Strangely enough, she cared deeply about what others thought of her. It changed what she thought of herself.

Weak, Bessell's voice reverberated throughout her head. You are weak.

"-Ow." Olivia whined out, some of the bruises on her skin hurting from the scorching heat of the water. She twisted the handle to the cool setting, carefully scrubbing at the skin on her body.

She watched as the bubbles within her hair drifted down her ugly form, her sagging stomach skin staring back at her and jiggling with every movement she made.

No way was she letting anybody else see her body.

It was one of her greatest insecurities.

She could imagine how disgusting Raiden would probably find it. She didn't want to see the horrified expression on his face morphing into disgust-just like Bessell's did on their wedding night.

When he took her virginity.

A shudder wracked Olivia's body. She needed to change her direction of thoughts before it went down dangerous territory.

Her mind focus back in on Raiden.
About the room she was in.

It was going to be her room. And she was going to be sleeping in it later that night.

"Don't be nervous." She whispered to herself.