Joshifer Fanfiction - A Different Love

Chapter 28

"Jen, all I want to do is talk. You've been avoiding me all day." Josh shouted, trailing behind me as I walked into my trailer.

"Look, your girlfriend came all this way- why don't you just hang out with her?" I said, trying not to sound as jealous as I was.

"She's not my girlfriend." Josh sighed. But I didn't believe him. And there was uncertainty in his voice; like he knew too.

"Well then what is she?" I finally gave in, turning around and pulling him inside the trailer, shutting the door quickly.

"She's just a good friend." He shrugged, his eyes avoiding mine.

"Oh, just like me, huh? How many good friends do you have?" I raised an eyebrow. I couldn't help myself, everything I said was making me lose control.

"Jen, it's not like that." He frowned, trying to take my hand, but this time I stepped away.

"No. I'm sorry," I took a deep breath, calming myself, "I know we're broken up. It's just really soon. Too soon for me to handle. But I'm okay. I'll be okay." I straightened. There was a silence as Josh looked at the floor, until his frown soon turned to a smirk.

"Don't worry, I miss you just as much as you miss me." He winked. I rolled my eyes, laughing.

"Don't get cocky." I replied, grabbing two water bottles from the mini-fridge.

*

"Action!" Francis called, still that enthusiasm in his voice.

I was now dressed in a normal t-shirt and pants for the scene. Katniss in the end, after Prim's death, a few months at least. She's at her house in District 12, alone and sad. Although she is about to be surprised when she sees the only one she can love standing outside offering to plant Primroses in memory of Prim. She is shocked and defensive, remembering the boy who lost everything, only to return.

I sat down on the couch, staring at the wall, until I heard a bang outside. I walked out of the house and stepped outside. I saw Josh, well Peeta, sitting on his knees, scars over his face, and a wheelbarrow beside him.

"Hi." I whispered. He looked over, a blonde boy with a slight smile on his face, almost convincing me he was waiting for this face to appear all his life.

"Hey." He replied.

There was a silence as I stared into his blue eyes, they were swimming with tears. I don't know if they were Peeta's tears or Josh's, but either way I couldn't seem to continue acting.

The silence went on too long, everyone on the set knowing it was my line. But I couldn't seem to get out the words. I heard a stern whisper from a corner, telling me to speak. I attempted to.

"When did you-when did you..." I breathed, unsure of what to say.

It was only when Josh gave me the smallest smile, not Peeta, but Josh. The glint in his eyes, it encouraged me to keep going.

"When did you get back?" I huffed. Everyone seemed relieved they wouldn't have to retake the scene.

But Josh laughed, causing everyone to groan. Francis quietly called cut and went to come talk to us, but Josh took my wrist quickly and pulled me off set. He rushed me over to a space between sets, where no one would think to look. We were kind of cramped together, but I didn't mind.

"What was that?" He smiled slightly. I was glad he took this lightly.

"I don't know." I admitted. I really didn't. I wasn't acting in that scene...it felt more real than ever. And I can't figure out why.

"We can talk now. Claudia is getting lunch for us and the rest of the cast are on break, I mean the producers and Francis are probably pissed, but we have some time now. Talk to me." He grinned, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. The gesture made my heart swoon. But I gulped it down.

"What's to talk about?" I shrugged.

"You know. Us."

"There is no us anymore." I adverted my eyes.

"Without you I'm not me. I know you're not yourself without me, either. I've seen it. That Alex guy? Yeah, he's not right for you." Josh said, actually serious. I was taken aback by what he was saying.

"How would you know that?" I snapped, stepping back, but I could barely distance myself from him.

"I know what's best for you Jennifer." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You can't decide my life, Joshua." I went to walk away, but he held me in place.

"Maybe not. But I know what you should have in your future." Josh told me.

"So do I, and not one of those things include you." I whispered before pushing him away and walking off, annoyed.

It never crossed my mind Josh would be so controlling. Maybe Nick, but that was because he was worried I was going to fall for some other guy. Alex, well he doesn't care what I do. He knows what I want and supports me. Who knows? Maybe this whole experience was just leading me to Alex, to being with him and loving him.

Now I'm already planning to leave Josh behind? This is too much. Even if I'm offended by his sudden outburst, I still need him. And it's not like anyone can make me forget about him either; because they've tried, and I end up thinking about him more than ever.

When I arrive back at set, Josh is there a few minutes later. I don't take notice of him as Francis guides us back into scene. Into acting. This time we nail the scene and Francis even comments that I was good at being distant and unsure of Peeta, which was exactly how I felt with Josh. I suppose our disagreements are positives for our career.

That about wraps up our day, everyone packing up and getting their things, a few cast members getting make-up removed and costumes put back. Liam came over and draped his arm over my shoulder, making me laugh as we stumbled around.

"What a day." He sighed.

"What a day." I repeated.

"Want to come over to my place for the night? We can have a movie marathon since we don't have to be here by the afternoon tomorrow." Liam suggested.

"Sure. Sounds fun." I smiled up at him. It will be a good way to get my mind off things.

I sense someone staring at us and as we spin around together, Josh's eyes meet mine. He looks slightly annoyed. I raise my eyebrow. Jealousy? It must be as he's giving Liam a long stare.

"We can go in like half an hour?" Liam turns to face me, taking his arm away, but in the attempt to make Josh more jealous, I simply wrap his arm around me tighter.

"No worries." I said, laughing even though nothing was funny. I could tell Josh was getting more and more annoyed by the second.

"Hey, wanna help me get some clothes from my trailer?" I asked. This was when Josh would really start to experience the pain I had to feel.

"Sure thing." Liam was slightly confused, but he didn't question it as I quickly pulled him into my trailer, Josh frozen as he watched the whole scene.

Finally he could understand how I felt. How much I wanted him when all he did was gush over Claudia. What a future we could've had...

But now it was all gone.

***

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