Joshifer Fanfiction - A Different Love

Chapter 40

The call ended and Josh walked back to me, leaning in to kiss me again, but I pushed him away, hurt.

"Jen?" Josh questioned.

"I can't believe you kissed her. Again." I said, the tears coming to my eyes.

I saw the shock on his face as he realised I knew, and he stepped back a bit.

"Jen-" He tried to explain, but I couldn't hear it. I needed to get out.

"Thanks a lot Josh. I really tried my hardest to trust you for once. I really thought we were going to last for once. But no, here I am, second best to Claudia where I always have been. This is it. I can't take it anymore." I said, not angrily or sadly, but calmly. Because I really was losing my mind and I couldn't do it anymore.

"Jen, you're not going to leave me. You can't." Josh said, putting a hand on my shoulder and stopping me.

"Why did you kiss her?" I cried, and his eyes were holding in the tears.

"Because that was the only way to get her to leave me alone." He sighed, his excuse awfully put. But there was something in his voice that made me believe him. Pain.

"I can't do this knowing you love her." I shook my head.

"What makes you think that?" He said, his eyes widening.

"Because it's so obvious. You left her even though you had deep feelings for her. Think about it Josh, she was the only one you couldn't let go of." I replied. This wasn't a screaming match, but it was worse. The raw emotion that we were showing without anger or sadness was breaking my heart; mostly because I knew we had done this before, and we knew what could happen if either one of us gave up.

"No, you don't understand. I would never have left Claudia if I hadn't fallen for you, which I did and-"

"Exactly! You just said it yourself. You would have never left her. That you were in love with her. And you couldn't have gotten over her completely after falling for me. If you loved her, Josh, you would still feel it right now. And you do." I put a hand to his chest, where his heart is, and feel it beating quickly.

"I love you too much to know that you could be happier with someone else." I admitted, and that's when we both fell apart.

"But I love you." Josh spluttered, running out of words to say.

"You do. But you love her more." I answered sadly.

"Don't say that. Please don't say that." Josh shook his head, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I just want you to be happy." I pulled back, looking into his eyes.

This was his time. To say whatever he could conjure up. To make an excuse maybe, or give me a speech. As he looked me right into the eyes, I didn't know what he would say.

"I am happy." He breathed.

I smiled and sighed.

Instead, he lied.

"I love you." I gave him a gentle, lingering kiss. His arms wrapped around me, but I broke away from them.

"I love you too." He replied, confused. He thought the whole 'argument' was over. And it was.

"Goodbye Josh." I sighed, kissing his cheek before walking out the door, my keys in my hand.

I heard footsteps behind me, shocked calls from Josh.

He was screaming my name, and I had to sacrifice my heart to have the strength not to turn around.

"Please no." He cried, tears in his voice.

His breath got heavy as he ended up right by my side as I was opening the door. He slammed it shut and pulled me around so I was facing him. I was surprised, but attentive.

"You don't get it. How in love I am with you. Your smile. Your lame jokes. But your perfect little imperfections and everything about you makes you my sunshine. You always have a way to make me happier, Jen. And I can't bear the thought of you driving off on me again. I can't let you. Okay, I'll admit, I loved Claudia. But I'm in love with you. She is nothing but a problem in my life. Today, all she planned on doing was getting me to break up with you, but I knew that wouldn't work. If I wanted her, then I would never have cheated on you for her. I would just tell you. I need you to understand how hard I have worked for you. For all this time, I knew there was something about you that made you so spectacular. And I guess I've kind of figured it out...it's because it's you, Jen. You're Jennifer freaking Lawrence and that's why you mean everything to me. That's why I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

I stared at him, my heart rate quickening.

He was panting and holding me tightly, trying to stay sane as his worry of losing me became obvious.

I didn't need to speak.

I pressed my lips to his and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug of relief and love.

There were clicks of cameras, and that's when I knew we had to go back inside.

"Josh." I said between our kisses.

"Let them see. I want the whole world to know I'm madly in love with you and there's nothing they can do about it." He replied, continuing to kiss me, and I smiled against his lips.

We continued a little longer before he did pull me back inside, and we lay on the couch and turned the TV on.

"The celebrity news show is on-"

"Don't worry. We won't watch it." I assured him, and he took my hand in his.

Instead, we watched reality TV shows like Keeping Up With The Kardashians and laughed.

It was like the whole thing had never happened, and I really wanted to believe it hadn't; even though there was a sinking feeling in my heart that reminded me it had.

***

Short chapter, but once again it was really late when this was written! I just wanna say- 40 chapters!! We have made it to one of my goals when I started this book. The fact you guys have supported me along the way means the world to me! Thank you all so much.

Lets aim for a few more chapters with many more memories to make! :)