Joshifer Fanfiction - A Different Love

Chapter 19

"Josh, are you going to tell me what's so bad about this or not?" I ask, pulling him up by his arm. He gives me a grim look and I swallow down tears.

"Nothing, I'm so happy about my life. I couldn't ask for any other." I notice the sarcasm in his voice.

"What's wrong? I know this is not about Nick. I'm not going back to him, not anymore." I step forward, and he doesn't move a muscle. I place a hand on his cheek, but he side-steps around me.

"It's not that," Josh breathes, his eyes closed, "I still worry one day...I don't know, he'll get you back somehow. Whether it is giving speeches about how much he loves you, or even telling you privately...one day, you might actually believe it for yourself, caught up in what he's saying. Then you'll fall in love with him again."

I think about this, seeing what Josh might believe. At first, I'm taken aback, but I calm myself. I take his hand in mine and shake my head.

"I'm never going to do that. I don't get caught up in what people say to me, I get caught up in my own words. And I've already told him it's over, nothing changes that." I shrug.

"It's not like I want to tell you this but I-"

I cut him off with a kiss, because staring at each other is too hard apparently. He does refute at first, but after a few attempts he holds his lips to mine, before he is able to pull away.

"Jen, Claudia is almost four months pregnant, and she told me she thinks it's mine." Josh talks slowly, as if this is too impossible for me to understand, but I don't feel shocked or surprised, I know Claudia would do something like this, keeping him hanging by a thread before she finally reveals the truth, making him stuck. I am scared, for both of us. But arguing won't solve anything.

"And if it is my kid- what would happen to us?" Josh asks me hopefully.

"I'm not sure yet. But we would try, of course we'd try. We would do everything to make it work, and if it doesn't...we would figure it out." I promise, because I'm too afraid to let him go just yet.

"It's not that easy, Jen." Josh presses his lips together, letting my hand fall.

"Well we would make it easy!" I almost shout at him, my head spinning.

"I don't know how I'll ever be able to let you go." Josh sadly laughs it off, then shakes his head the whole way down the hallway.

 I don't follow him, my muscles weaken, and I fall down on my knees. Everything is ruined. I've said it so many times before, so one day it will be ruined. No way of replacing our history.

"Jen." Josh appears in front of me after a few seconds, and he falls down in front of me, he must've quickly turned around, unsure.

He takes my wrists and I have to look at him.

"Don't worry, okay? This is just another bump and we can get past it. This is life, and I know sometimes it sucks, but we get through it, alright? Promise me this different love can work."

And then he releases my wrists, but keeps eye contact, at least until I say,

"I promise."

Then there's a knock on the door.

*

"Nick, can you just go? We're sick of you in our lives. Jennifer loves me, you got that? Also, stop with the love letters, the public don't care about how much you love her. It's over. She's gone."

There's a silence as I press my ear to the wall, waiting for some sort of response. Josh got up and answered the door so I went to the kitchen to wipe my eyes, then I heard Nicholas give some sappy speech about how he couldn't get over me, and now we're here. It's a rough end to a rough day.