Joshifer Fanfiction - A Different Love

Chapter 16

He's home.

I throw away my pillow I've being hugging for hours and rush to the door.

When I don't hear his footsteps up the stairs, I take a peek out the window. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and see him with a figure in front of him.

I try to see who it is, and finally they rock to the side, and I see it clearly.

Josh is holding Claudia by the waist, and her arms are wrapped around his neck, and they're kissing passionately.

I try to take this in, breathing anxiously. I'm not angry, I'm just heartbroken.

When she slightly lets him go, he stumbles back and falls flat on his butt, Claudia starts to laugh hard, and I hear another set of laughter.

I hear a slam of a car-door, and see coming to Josh's side is Sam, smirking.

I'm shocked.

He actually let this happen, they're all so drunk, but I could never justify what to think at this point.

I can't help myself, I open the window slightly and stick my head out.

"Hey, idiots, you seem a little drunk there, how many fingers am I holding up?" Josh looks at me first and I return the look, sticking up my middle finger at them all.

His face falls but he still has that drunk look in his eyes.

I close the window and shut the curtains, even lock the door, even though that's stupid because Josh lives here. I wouldn't be surprised if he was too drunk to remember that.

I go to the bedroom and slam the door. I sit on the bed and cry for as long as I can before he's at the door.

It's 3:30AM, and if I called I might not have found out, but I did, and I'm glad. This way I can leave Josh before the pain becomes unlivable.

"Jen.." He whispers at the bedroom door, knocking a little first.

I could not talk to him right now, but I have no choice. Either way I'm leaving him, no matter how much it hurts.

His voice is higher than usual, which means he is certainly drunk. But he couldn't use that as an excuse, because cheating is never an excuse.

He comes in and looks at my red eyes and frown, and his face stays blank.

"I can explain.." He tries to sit next to me, but I stand up and look at the wall, keeping my eyes away from him. This will never be easy.

"Just, please, get my clothes and I'll go." I breathe, sniffing.

"But I-"

"Just, please, please Josh. I need you to do this. One last favour. Get my clothes and I'll go, I promise."

He looks at me pleadingly. I close my eyes and hold in my tears. I will have time to mourn this scenario, but now is not the time.

He is defeated though, as he starts to get bags and stuffing clothes in them.

He has an angry-scary-drunk look as he does this, and occasionaly hits himself. It's painful to watch, but what's more painful is the words he mutters to himself.

"I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I deserve what I'm getting, I should be gone, what's wrong with me?"

I sit and watch him, taking a teddy I once held with me.

When he's done he piles it in the lounge room, ready for me to take.

He looks at me for a goodbye, but I don't know what I could possibly say to this drunk man I love, and will never be able to forgive.