Joshifer Fanfiction - A Different Love

Chapter 35

There's a saying, you know, that when love fails, it fails. That there is so need to force something that wasn't there in the first place. That's what I thought, too. Until I realised that it doesn't have to be so complicated- that when couples try to make things work; it doesn't necessarily mean they're forcing a relationship.

It just means they don't want to let go.

I believed that was bad. That you must let go of things in life. Until...I met him. By the first time our lips met to the last time our eyes met, I knew I could never let go. That I wouldn't just be letting go of him.

But a part of myself.

Through the consecutive weeks, I work harder. Not for a relationship, but a job. Alex, although under-appreciated in my life, knew to leave before I had even said the words.

Not because I didn't love him, but because, by fact, I simply didn't need him. Besides, all I could do for him was play with his emotions, and I pitied that.

Josh and I lost contact- casually, if you will. Sometimes I messaged him a 'hi' and sometimes I got back a 'hello', but that was all. He was filming a new movie, trying to sort out things with Claudia. I even heard he was going on small dates with her every now and then. But it didn't bother me. It seemed Claudia was that one person Josh couldn't let go of.

I would be filming a movie with Bradley Cooper, going behind caravans with him, talking about a future that we could have...but both of us knew we couldn't love each other like that.

It was a strange period in my life, and maybe everyone around me knew it, because I started getting calls in the middle of the night from worried directors or cast members, asking me if I need reassurance. I felt strangely welcomed by everyone, every where I went. It seemed people actually cared about me. Even though I was feeling good about my life.

Close friends saw my frown when Josh's name came up, saw the way my eyes lit up at that familiar word. Close friends saw my sadness when I didn't get a reply from him, or didn't get a good answer. Saw the way I smiled out of no where, thinking of a random memory with him involved.

It wasn't that I wanted him back, I guess in a way, I just wanted him. To talk to him, to see him more. Even if we were just friends. I suppose he knew that friends wasn't really possible for us. We were always going to be something more or less. I didn't let the thought break my heart anymore.

Nicholas called me a fair bit, and I enjoyed our calls that consisted of comfortable silences and genuine laughs. But it wasn't enough for a relationship.

I know, people kept guessing that Josh would be back in my life after a little while, but there was something about this separation that was different from the rest- we were moving on.

Sam came over one night and we had a Disney movie marathon. Once we settled into our pillow fort we gossiped about celebrities. But he interrupted the fun play to talk about my love life.

"Any new boys?" He grinned.

"Oh, you know me, marriages in Vegas and all." I joked, and he laughed.

"Seriously, though. I'm so intrigued." He ate a handful of popcorn.

"If you must know, there are no recent boyfriends. But that's how I like it for now." I replied honestly.

"Well, I am sure that would make Josh happy if he knew." Sam shrugged.

"What?" I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Sam cleared his throat and turned back to the TV. I didn't bother questioning it, but it stuck to my mind for a while.

Josh and I planned to reunite after time, but that compromise was long gone by this point. My schedule consisted of working, eating, toilet breaks, sleeping, repeating. Some weekends with friends, some weekends alone. It was all by the decisions I made, and it was all paying off by the fact I never had any drama.

It was an interview. The interview that broke Josh and I's silence. It was for The Hunger Games. With Liam, of course.

I didn't know how to greet Josh, but it came naturally when I saw him standing around impatiently. A beard growing, almost. A t-shirt that he would wear almost every day. Jeans and sneakers. Combed hair. A bright smile. The fact I was seeing him again made me nervous. But it was overtaken by happiness when he noticed me and was quick to take me in his arms.

"You don't think I would skip a hug, do you?" He whispered into my ear, and I almost let a tear fall.

"Where have you been?" I asked quietly.

"Unfortunately, somewhere far from you." He said with a frown, pulling away. But I smiled.

"So lovely for someone who hasn't called me for months." I raised an eyebrow.

"It is, isn't it?" He said sarcastically, and I rolled my eyes, hugging him again.

We got started on the interview after meeting with Liam. He sat in the middle of Josh and I, and the interviewer across from us. A young man with a neat and tidy look. He asked us questions about the film and our acting in general. I tried to being as much humour into it as possible. But, after so long of been without Josh, we couldn't quite coordinate with the jokes as well as we used to. It seemed to make Liam laugh more, though.

"Do you guys still see each other often?" The interviewer asked.

I avoided Josh's eyes and let Liam answer.

"Always. Until the end of time." He lied, and I wrapped an arm around his shoulder with a smile.

"We will never leave each other." Josh smiled.

"Well, they just can't leave me to be honest." He gave a cheeky grin and the interviewer let out a chuckle.

Lies. It was all lies. And it was so obvious to the fans, who by now, would know Josh and I had split up. We didn't hang out, barely even talked. And yet, it was part of the act, part of the game we unintentionally played. I never wanted to lie, but I didn't want to make it seem like I hated Josh because of the incident, because I really didn't.

"Good. I'm sure everyone is happy to know that." The man replied, and Josh glanced my way.

That day was only one small portion of Josh, but it was enough for now. I knew at least he wasn't going to avoid me forever, and truly did still care about me, in the limited way he could.

***

Hey sorry this is so short! It was just to let you know whats happening in her life really! But thanks for reading as always (:

updating ASAP