Joshifer Fanfiction - A Different Love

Chapter 10

I tap my finger on the door, not loud enough for anyone to hear. Why did I come? Why am I here?

"Josh." I mutter, kicking the brick wall. On the other side of this door he will be sobbing, he'll be screaming, and he'll be dazed.

If I walk in; I- why am I here? I shouldn't be here. I rushed to the car as soon as I read his message.

"Josh." I speak up as the last few minutes appear in my mind. I'm not going now.

There is a pause, then a clatter, then he's there. His eyes are bloodshot, and his hair looks like it's being pulled.

"Jen. What are you doing here?"

I don't know what to say, so I force a smile. I regret it as soon as he frowns.

"Sympathy. Of course." He walks away, leaving the door wide open for me to walk in. It's like he's leaving an option for me.

I risk it.

I shut the door behind me and walk down his hallway, coming across two rooms, the lounge or the bedroom. I take a step into the bedroom where he sits in an armchair at the corner. He stares at the floor.

"Josh, I've not come here to give sympathy. I've come here, to..."

He looks up at me, raising his eyebrows.

"I never said sympathy was a bad thing." His eyebrows crease.

"Sorry." I breathe, expecting the worst from him tonight.

"So, she cheated." I try to relax, to actually be casual. It's hard, but I need to get through it for us.

"She did." Josh takes all his strength to sit up and give me a look in the eyes.

"Then, they well, save the details. He got her pregnant. Who, exactly?" I realise the only way to be casual is force the hardest information he can give. It'll be difficult; but how is sympathy the only thing he can depend on?

"Don't know. No celebrity, as her-" He takes a deep breath, and holds in his tears, "as her text implied."

I can't hold the act any longer, like I will fall. I feel like getting on my knees and holding him in comfort.

But for some reason, all these things I've done, all these pressure points I've felt, have led to this. Like I've went through all of this to become stronger, or maybe weaker. Either way, I know in my mind that I've not quite given up.

"Text is a lousy way to say that she cheated and the baby isn't your kid. She was always Claudia. She always will be Claudia. I know you're not nearly as hurt as you should be by this, Josh. That's okay; because maybe in some way you're winning. Like she wants you to be hurt. But you aren't, Josh. You have the power now."

I've said everything right, I've put each and every piece into place for him. Now all he needs to do is go with it.

"Besides, this will be news. Distract them from us, eh? Some people actually do like you and her together." I laugh, and my eyes glint with happiness. I know, because this is a real laugh.

He waits, then smiles, then laughs. We're no longer vulnerable, because whatever happens I wouldn't lose him.

"Is that it, then?" He asks, leaning back.

"Only if you want it to be." I smile, winking. He smirks as I get up and walk off, leaving him to ponder what I just said. I don't even know, really.

I go to the kitchen and wait for a moment until he walks in, leaning against the doorway.

"What if I want to cry?"