Big Bang Theory ver 2 Ethan Harper × Chloé

S2 The Lizard-Spock Expansion

We see Sheldon, Ethan, Leonard, and Raj in apartment 4A watching TV.

Sheldon:
Oh look, Saturn 3 is on.

Raj:
I don’t want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better.

Sheldon:
How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3?

Raj:
Simple subtraction will tell you it’s six better.

Leonard:
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.

Sheldon:
In what sense is that a compromise?

He asked in a condescending tone.

Leonard:
Well, five is partway between three… Never mind.

He sits down in the chair and grabbed his notebook.

Raj:
I’ll tell you what, how about we go rock-paper-scissors?

Sheldon:
Ooh, I don’t think so. No, anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock.

Raj:
What?

Ethan:
Here we go.

He said in a sarcastic tone.

Sheldon:
It’s very simple. Look, scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Raj:
Okay, I think I got it.

They prepare for Sheldon’s game.

Together:
Rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock! (Both hold up the symbol for Spock) Oh!

We then see Howard enter with an eye patch on, and a ridiculous shirt.

Howard:
Hello, boys.

Leonard:
Ahoy, matey.

Ethan:
I didn't notice the eye patch, I was too busy looking at that ridiculous shirt.

He said as he let out a laugh.

Howard:
Noticed the eye patch, did you? It’s all part of a technique I’ve been studying for picking up women. You employ a visual display designed to make yourself distinctive and memorable.

Sheldon:
Oh yes, like the male peacock with brilliant plumage or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters.

Leonard:
Or in this case, the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye.

Howard:
Mock me if you will, but it works. You show up at a club in something distinctive, scope out your target and toss out some negs.

Raj:
What are negs?

Howard:
A neg is a negative compliment that throws a pretty woman off her game, like “Normally, I’m not turned on by big teeth, but on you, they work.” I’ve got a whole list of ’em. Who wants to be my wingman?

Leonard:
You’re not gonna need wingman, you’re gonna need a paramedic.

Ethan raised his hand.

Ethan:
I also have a question, if your method works, how come your still single?

Before he could answer, Penny enters the apartment.