Special Smile // Jadon Sancho

Chapter 34

Song for this chapter: i love you - billie eilish
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I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. Where am I going to sleep here now? Eat? Bathe? What am I still doing there? I cried again and again, at some point I thought there couldn't be any more tears, but my body kept producing more and more.

At some point my decision was made. I will leave tomorrow. I took a deep breath and stared into the distance. The moon was reflected in the sea, like Jadon's eyes always does. So I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the soothing sound of the sea.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped out of reflex. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Lucia apologized. She looked worried. When I looked at her, her eyes widened. "Oh my god, you look awful!" slipped out of her. My look said enough because she immediately apologized, "sorry, I didn't mean it like that." "It's okay, I know what you mean," I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked me after a while. "What do you know?" I got a little irritated again. "Only that Jadon came back, took everything and looked very teary. When we asked him what happened, he got really mad and yelled at Marcus...then he took off. I don't know where", she replied. It was as if someone had pressed an inner button in me because suddenly tears streamed down my face again and my heart tightened. I don't even know exactly why, maybe because she just told me that he felt as shitty as I do. Nothing made sense.

"Hey, hey, everything's okay. If you want, I'll always listen to you. If you don't want to talk about it, I'll just hug you for as long as it takes," she reassured me, hugging me. "Thanks, Lucia. I owe you something", "No, certainly not! That's what best friends are for. Now tell me," she continued. I shifted out of the hug and sat down on the sand like before, staring off into space. "He broke up. He... he ended our relationship, Lucia, just like that!"

You could tell from afar how shocked she was by her face. „What?! Jadon? Never! He adores you 24/7 and would do anything for you," cried out Lucia. My tears just kept flowing.

The memories jumped into my mind. When I smelled his perfume and knew immediately that this man will be perfect. When he showed me his old home. My first night with him. When he came back to the hotel to explain and apologize. I remembered every time he made it clear to me how pretty he thought I was. When we talked about our future. As he explained each and every tattoo to me. How he always wanted to protect me. His strong arms around me. And to smell his scent. His surprise date in the woods. When he was there for me in the hospital, post op, every second. How he called in the middle of the night just to hear or see me.

And all of that is gone now. Just like that? That's it?

"What was his reason?" Lucia asked quietly after a while and pulled me out of my memories. Luckily. One second longer and I would have collapsed. I've never loved someone so much and confided in someone so much. "The comments. The hate. The fame. That he never wanted to drag me into something like that, but that's exactly what happened. But I'm not a little kid anymore! I can do it and if not then we could have done something. Why does he just give up?!" Forget the last sentences I said earlier about collapsing. Because that's exactly what happened now. And as if it weren't already a gloomy mood, it started raining cats and dogs again.

"Oh man... I... honestly I don't really know what to say. I've known Jadon for a long time and he's never been in a relationship like you are. I've never seen him so happy. I know it hurts even more, but that's the way it is. The only way I can explain it is that he's overwhelmed and wants to protect you," explained Lucia. I couldn't utter a sentence without crying. "But why?! I'm big enough, I can do it on my own. He don't have to take care of me," I kept crying desperately. "Because he couldn't protect his little brother," Lucia finished.