The Shadows of Nature

4.2. Within

The silence that engulfed the little one deepened with each passing moment that she spent by the side of the red-eyed Shadow, as if his presence fractured the existence of noise and kept it away from all that stood close to him, even himself.

Conrad felt the little one staring up at him. He turned his head down to face the cropped green grass, and then to see the little girl. Big brown eyes, a gaze full of wonder that was quiet and patient. Upon seeing his shift, Iris wore a smile ever-so-small, not moving her stance as her focus shifted to his eyes.

Bright, but not too much. She could see the red tone only because she noticed the change over the years. How could one's eyes change colour? The image she remembered was of brown eyes with the slightest intrusion of red.

The image that came after the death of a certain entity.

For the briefest moment, a light dominated by brown with moments of red formed between the two. Conrad turned to face the horizon as soon as he detected it, the slight surprise leaving no thought to pervade his mind. Iris pursed her lips as he smile deepened, raising he head to face the sky.

"Do you ever wonder where you have come from?"

Despite the placid softness of her tone, Iris's question startled Conrad. A question that troubled him very much, once upon a time. A time that felt odd and far away from him, after all that had happened.

"Perhaps I don't, at present. There is not a lot I think about anymore. I did think about your question quite a bit until a few years ago. Why do you ask?"

"A little curious, that is all."

Conrad could not help but smile at that. Curiosity always reminded him of a dear friend in ways he never expected. It was a feeling that he once thought was simple innocent inquisitiveness, but its true source could be anything and of any type of intention.

At least he had overcome his instance. Conrad blinked for a moment longer, his breath longer than what had become normal for shadows.

"The only person who may have been able to help me is no longer here. There actually may have been a few others who may have been able to help me, but even they are no longer here. Maybe there is a way to find the answer, maybe there isn't. I have simply decided that at present, there is no time for that question, and since it does not bother me any more, it is okay to not know."

"This world is full of possibilities. I used to be very unhappy with my place in the world, at one point of time, and it was very easy to think about regretful events and how a different set of events would've been better, whether they came from my choice or from someone else's. Actually, I misspoke. It wasn't easy, it was simply a natural tendency. To think about it all, to wish for something else, to be drawn into the thoughts that caused unease and once surrounded by all that noise, it is hard to quieten down.

"I do not think it is bad to think of the past, nor do I think I was choosing to holding on to it. I was simply confused, and I wanted an answer so that the unease wouldn't repeat itself."

Conrad took a much needed breath, and Iris was surprised to hear so many words from the usually silent shadow. It was why everything he said captivated her.

The red-eyed shadow let out a small laugh as he closed his eyes and crouched on his knees. When she saw his gaze again, they were brown for the briefest moment, as if she were able to see a glimpse of his past self.

"I used to look down on human beings quite a bit, but everything I'm describing is incredibly human. It was a human who had helped me, unwittingly, to make sense of my confusion by being patient.

"If one has to wait and decipher what troubles them, and only then will they be able to find a solution, it is best to wait. It is okay to look at the past to become better, but keep the revelations remembered yet aside, until they are to become useful."

The resounding silence that followed felt comfortable, yet momentarily foreign, to Conrad. Iris couldn't help but look at his eyes again, the delicate colours harmonising to display their story of transition in a manner that she understood all too well.

From one sense of one, to the same sense of the other.

"People wish to change all the time. The wish may come from a place of goodwill, to do good for others. To become better for others, better for the world around them. Or perhaps to become better for oneself. But it always comes from a sort of dissatisfaction or frustration with oneself. How does one even become better, anyway? How does one change their innate wiring and figure out what it means to become better?"

Become better.

For a moment, Iris thought she saw the gaze glisten. Not with wonder, or joy, or relief, or anything along those lines. 

Watery... it looked like she had inadvertently reminded the shadow of a time when he did not like himself very much. 

"We cannot know until we try. One must always try. Maybe giving their best is not always possible, but one must always try. No matter what."

Iris smiled, giving an earnest nod. It then came to her mind that the contemplations shared to her by this shadow might not be unique to him, not entirely, at least. Perhaps other shadows she knew had thought in the same manner before. Some in particular came to her mind, that was for sure. 

Many humans would've shared his sentiments at some point in their life, she was sure of that. Perhaps repeatedly.

Conrad chuckled lightly. "I hadn't expected myself to give you a lecture, this was probably not what you were concerned about. You are too little for such matters, anyway."

Iris shook her head immediately

Why did Shadow Beings become so human was a question of intrigue to her too, like it was for the shadows who welcomed her to Earth. Iris was grateful for it, for gaining the ability to understand the creatures she found so fascinating.

Perhaps the day when she would go into their world would come soon. It would come eventually, that she was sure. It did not scare her as she knew she could always return to the place that made her feel comfortable.

Perhaps it made her a little nervous.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"

But it was her duty, and she would fulfil it.

Iris nodded wholeheartedly and the two shadows stepped forward, their feet never quite touching the ground. Or the world around them, for that matter.

Curious. Dutiful. A wish to understand, a wish to be kind to the world that lives and dies. Changing beings in a changing world, born with an innate nature that kept them one.

Nature was always evolving, after all. But was it always for the better?