The Shadows of Nature

8.1. To

The wind was as alleviating as ever, its touch cooling any heat of anxiety with its best efforts. The sound of ripples in the water was like music to Audrey, an effect she was sure was not coincidental and set up especially for her. A young woman wearing a simple blue dress walked towards her, the garment stopping once it reached her knees. It bore no design, but the blue was brilliant in a manner no one could ever convey, as if it belonged to some other world.

Ariana wore a smile, deep and small that was not telling at all, but it brought a slight sense of ease, as if warmly welcoming her guest.

"How are you?"

Ariana did not answer as quickly as the question came from Audrey, and the latter wondered why this was the first that came to her mind.

"I am good, as I always am. And how are you?"

A smile came to Audrey immediately, her tone softening as it found its balance.

"I am also good."

How sincere were there answers? A question to which the exact answer probably did not exist.

"How are the Demonic Creatures coping with the their new experiences, seeing the world of the Living?"

Audrey found the wording of the question curious. They've always been around the living, but never seen them live, in a sense.

"They're doing very well. I haven't yet tried to understand their state after they complete each session - what they think, what they feel - because it is their personal experience and as long as it doesn't harm them, it's fine. I still don't know why Azrael requested this and I have certainly not figured out the reason, but I can see that it is important."

Ariana smiled, almost as if she were satisfied with Audrey's answer.

"You have already seen a fair share of the world of living things when you were in Hearth, haven't you?" Audrey's voice turned softer, following the rhythm the wind presented.

"Oh yes, definitely. I have also seen a good amount here, from Zephyr's and Evelyn's story. I know that that isn't really seeing the living, but I think I have understood a lot through them."

Audrey laughed lightly, nodding her head because she could wholeheartedly agreed with the notion of Evelyn conveying the nature of life, at least at its fundamentals.

"Even my ancestors understood a lot because a lot of what they did during their brief time here involved them observing the living things with objectivity and seeing as much as possible."

Using the word "ancestors" felt wrong to Ariana because they weren't her ancestors. They were her people and she was with them at the time of her birth, until she was displaced to the future. 

The faintest spark of orange flew from Audrey's finger, travelling within the shadow to reach her eyes. It was a risk Audrey was willing to take because she was simply too curious.

And perhaps she cared enough about the young woman, to ignore her privacy.

No emotions as she thinks of her people and her nature. No fear, no hatred, no anger. No sorrow, no uncertainty, and no exhaustion. Neutrality.

"Are you really not scared about dying soon? Maybe not scared, but sad? Or uncertain? Or anything else?"

The shadow's returned to its uneven entrance just a bit. Audrey had tried to word the question delicately but it simply fell out, her mind unable to ponder on such formalities at the moment. 

The light in Ariana's eyes dimmed a bit as she pondered the question with nothing but introspection devoid of any emotion, as if she were analysing something. Her body was as still as ever and she arrived to her answer quickly, the light returning with a glow on the old girl's face.

"No, I do not think I feel anything about it all. What I say next might sound harsh but I don't mean it to be that way, it is a result I feel like I've stumbled upon naturally."

Her tone was even with a touch of care, perhaps a care for the world she currently lived in, and it comforted the shadow she talked to, but there was an apprehension in the air. Very slight, very loose, but it was there.

Perhaps the world was scared for.

"I do not care anymore. I do not care about anything. With the exception of two people, I suppose, I do not care about anything. I have remained in this world for a long time and I have always tried to do the right thing, whatever that may be, even if it hurt me or someone else. I have always tried my best and I have continued to become better, but that doesn't matter. This world has always decided that my existence is not right for it and I do not understand why it ever let me come here. I did not ask to come here, it came to me. Well, some part of the world came to me and brought me here and made me like it, and now it is nearly time to go. When I had my doubts, the world gave me no indication as if I were worrying for nothing, up until I was taken away that day by the Demons.

"Vlad was nice to me, better than this world in some ways, but that time period was still difficult for me. Something within me shifted that day and it has been shifting ever since until it finally came to a stop a little while ago. Maybe that was a way for me to protect myself, so that I can let go when the time comes. So that I am not bound by unnecessary attachments to anything.

"Do not worry, Audrey. I am no more angry, or bitter, or sad, or wishful, or anything at all. I simply do not care anymore because the time of my caring has come to an end, and nothing else matters. That is my story, and that is fine. It does not matter if all of this will be remembered or forgotten, and it does not matter if no one else will care about this story after I am gone. It happened and it led me to where I am now - which, I believe no matter what, is important enough. 

"I have thought about all of this so much and realised that the answers to my questions have no consequence for the world, and no consequence for me since I will leave soon. Even if I were to stay long, I will leave eventually as everyone will. It is sooner for me because of both mine and the world's nature, and if I had to stay longer I would figure things out accordingly when it mattered. 

"For now, I have had enough and I do not mean this in a tired manner, even if the words may seem that way. Things are done. I do not know how much was in my control, but this end has been a long time coming and I am completely fine with it. Like I said, this is my story."

Ariana's expression was absolutely neutral. No touch of satisfaction, no touch of bitterness. It is what it is. 

Audrey's next question came as a delicate whisper, a little nervous and very curious.

"Why are there still two people you care about?"

The smile Ariana wore in response almost made Audrey want to cry.  

"Those two people have been absolutely wonderful to me. The world does not care who or what I care about and how much so my caring has no consequence, but I cannot help caring about them because they deserve the absolute best and in the off chance my caring matters, I want it all to go towards them."

The breeze stopped to wrap itself around Ariana and a smile came to her immediately. 

She cared, of course she did. She would care until she existed, but it was dwindling quickly and she really seemed to care very little.

"Do not worry about me, Audrey. I am completely fine."

Audrey pursed her lips. "I will not, but someone else will because she cares about you very much. Those two people you are thinking about will always care about you and I don't think anything will change that. I have realised that this world is turbulent and it is difficult to predict anything, but I really don't think anything will change that."

The smile Ariana now wore spread a warm feeling within Audrey, almost fuzzy, reminding her of their mutual friend.

"Thank you."

Audrey and Ariana moved forward in whichever direction came naturally, having a conversation they had never had and would never have again. A conversation without any aim, simply taking place according as the two minds worked in the present.