behind walls | nomin

7 | burden and bewilderment

a lone breath was released.

mark himself was also suffering from a nosebleed. otherwise, he seemed passably unharmed. a cluster of the popular students stand behind him. out of a sudden renjun lets out agonized groan, clasping his stomach. jaemin gets down on his knees perturbed.
"injun...? im sorry i didnt arrive in time... m-may i pick you up and carry you to the nurses or are you too sore? can you move?" 
renjun nods, and jaemin vigilantly picks him up and makes his way to the nurses office.

"he had a fat fucking attitude. i just simply humbled him." mark, now with a bruised nose snarled lowly. he was collecting his books from his locker. jeno stood alongside him. "is there a problem? you seem like you care about that disgusting femboy..."
"shut up mark. know your boundaries. just because you beat down a weakling 3 times smaller than you doesnt give you the right to suddenly turn arrogant towards me." jeno sternly seizes marks collar, causing him to flinch.
"o-okay... sorry." mark stammers, turning deferential.
"fucking stupid to get yourself suspended as well." jeno unhands him.
"how do you avoid it?" mark heedfully questions, faintly unassertive. 
"you dont let people witness. or try, at least. threaten them. silence them - you should know, imbecile... see you next week." jeno unambiguously saunters away.
he felt distraught. not of renjun, but jaemin. grievous anxiety was crawling and unfurling across his heart. was jaemin resentful or disheartened at him? unpleasant thoughts dazed his mind as he made his way to the brimming cafeteria. 
"hi jeno!" an exuberant voice suddenly says behind him. he turns around to see a hazel haired female.
"oh hey chaehyun." jeno clears his throat, showing no hints of avid.
"you missed the fight." chaehyun sulks.
"i know."
"so... have you eaten?" she gazes at him with the indistinguishable lively, sparkly eyes.
"no. i never eat in school." jenos tone remains as soporific, impassive.
"oh... okay. what are you doing after school today then?" chaehyuns tone remains ebullient.
"probably seeing a friend outside school. or just staying at home." jeno lied. he did not want to see her. he wanted to apologize, comfort and assure jaemin that everything was going to be okay. he could only be worried about him.
"i see. i gotta go to the bathroom, see you later maybe." she waves him goodbye and runs off, a smile still overlaid on her face.
"bye."
he takes out and turns on his phone. is calling him a bad idea?
"hey na. im so sorry."
jaemin was sitting outside the nurses office. "hey. dont apologize, its not your fault."
jeno was leaned over the school rooftop, where he wasnt seen nor heard. the wind had turned vigorous and the clouds had taken over the sky. "no. i couldve prevented that. i hope you can forgive me and please let me know if theres anything i can do to help."
"dont worry about it, jeno. everythings fine, i promise. go on with your day."
"are you free after school today?"
"im heading to the hospital and i got a test to study to, but other than that im free. but if youre looking for time to spend together, then we can totally do that."
"alright, im heading to the hospital as well. what time does your last class end?"
"15:50. you?"
"15:30. ill wait."
"alright, see you. send a message if something gets in the way."
"will do, see you. take care."
"see you, bye."
jaemin hangs up the phone. he leans himself back.
"uh... sorry to be eavesdropping but... were you talking to jeno..? like, the jeno? lee?" a seemingly similar-aged female sitting on the other side of the bench questioned. she had a befuddled look on her face. panic instantly filled jaemin. he felt his cheeks turn red and his abilities to speak dissipate.
"oh- what? no, i- uh, its another jeno." he spluttered. "kang." he quickly adds to minimize suspicion.
he had distinctly failed to persuade her from her evident facial expressions as well as prolonged "okay..." she reaches for her phone. he cussed for himself.

"i dont know... she had long, black hair, thats all i remember." jaemin sighed heavily, dropping his head. he was walking home from the hospital together with jeno. the streets were vacant and silent.
"dont overthink it, na. shes probably just another nobody. lets get something from that convenience store instead, im paying." jeno wraps his arm around jaemins neck. the air was frigid and bitter, the wind calm.
"no, no. im paying." jaemin assures him.
"i insist."
"i dont care, im paying today, please."
"na jaemin, i know you dont want to pay, so just let me, love." jeno blurted, subsequently feeling pleased noticing jaemin fall silent. what he didnt notice however, was that his cheeks blushed in a deep rose shade.

they proceed to make their way home after jaemin finally gives in. the sun had hidden itself below the horizon when they had arrived the parking lot. they stand facing each other, jaemin too diffident to meet jenos gaze.
"i dont wanna leave you tonight, jaemin." jeno sighs.
"me neither. but we'll meet tomorrow, wont we?" jaemin shyly glances at him.
"i suppose. its also friday tomorrow, so... maybe we can plan something for the weekend."
"for sure. ill be free."
"i enjoy spending time with you, na. i dont really know why, but i like you."
jaemin responds with a subtle giggle, "i like you too, jeno. i guess i cant say i know the reason either."
"ten past seven tomorrow, right here."
"yes. see you then, jeno."
"see you, love." jeno simpered, giving jaemin a tight, affectionate hug before parting ways.

if only jeno knew how crazy jaemin went after he went out of his sight.
if only jeno knew what jaemin would do just to hear those words fall out of his mouth again.
if only jeno knew what jaemin would do for him, for jeno.

his obsession was killing him.