behind walls | nomin

13 | aphrodite

the sheets were messy.

their clothes were on the velvet mat. both jaemin and jeno were dozed in each others warm embraces. the sound of frail rain was softly whispering to the closed windows. jeno pulled jaemin closer as the sunshine briefly peeked through the sheer curtains. faint memories of the previous night began to emerge. 

it was just past midnight and the moon was full. the clouds were dusty and still. they were sat together on jenos bed, talking about anything, singing soft melodies to each other. it was until jaemin ended up with his head resting on jenos lap that the temperature began to arise. the feeling of jaemins fluffy hair between jenos fingers. the feeling of jaemins cold hands finding heat under jenos shirt. they kissed longingly in devotion and desperation. jaemin, panting, found himself under the broad presence of jeno, whereas their clothes were far thrown off the bed. the dimmed room turned red and their blood turned purple.

"morning, love." 
jaemin woke up to the smell of fresh seaweed egg soup. it suddenly reminded him of his sister, who would always make it for him whenever he was unwell. the familiar smell felt so close to heart yet so far. jeno was patiently sitting beside him. his hand on his head. jaemins head hurt in a muddle of thoughts. memories from last night. he didnt want to wake up. he didnt want to grieve. he was tired. the vague view of the rainbow in the distance spoke.

you have set your rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between you and the earth. 

a tear fell from his eye. jeno expression instantly changed. "whats wrong, baby?" jaemin covered his face with the blanket that still smelled like jenos cologne from yesterday. jeno gave him a warm hug. 
"hey, jaemin, i know things are difficult, i know you are going through a lot." he said. jaemin could hear his unsteady heartbeat thumping against the walls of his chest. "i wish i could solve all your problems but i unfortunately cant, but i really want to assure you that everything will work out, you will be happy, things will be just fine and im always by your side no matter what. god works in mysterious ways so remember to keep your head up and look for the silver lining. its completely okay and normal to feel burdened but its important you let it out. take your time, jaemin, dont feel like you need to rush things, dont feel like you need to hide things, dont be ashamed over feeling in a way. im so proud of you for everything youve gone through and achieved. youre such a strong person and you are loved by many, including me."
he gripped jaemins hand tighter and felt the homely warmth between their fingers. he had never comforted anyone like that before. he would never believe he would ever say something nearly like that. jaemins sniffles were still heard muffled under the blanket. "you want me to stay or do you need some alone time?"
jaemin contemplated. "alone time... thank you." he whispered with a shaky voice.
"alright, i love you." jeno exited the room.
the realisation of astonishment hit him as he shut the door behind him.
he really loved jaemin. he knew he couldnt love anyone the way he loved jaemin. there was nobody like jaemin. why did it have to be jaemin? why did he have to love? he felt like he was losing himself once again.
but reality was that he was being guided to finally find himself.

their journey was tough but they always unconditionally loved each other. they always held each other in their arms during thunderstorms, always ran through the fields of flowers together under the bright sun, always helped each other push through the thick winds. they were finding the real, pure happiness they had always been so unfamiliar to. jeno could finally distance himself from the hundreds of bags of painful euphoria, and jaemin could sporadically distance himself from the incessant grief for his sister.

 one starry night, it happened.

"jeno, im home!" jeno immediately recognized the euphonious female voice. he jolted up from his bed and ran to the front door. he threw himself into the comforting warm embrace of his mother, sobbing loudly in her arms.
"oh, ive missed you so much my baby."
"m-mom! oh my god mom, ive missed you too, mom. i-i love you." he cried. he felt the inner child within him come to life, heal its wounds. he felt relieved and blissful, and let himself sink deeply into those feelings.

jaemin was sitting by himself at the graveyard.
stared at by a million stars.
he knew his sister was amongst them.
and he prayed long.
his eyes were red and sore from the rivers he had cried and his knees were aching from the gravel ground he had been kneeling on for so long. but nothing agonized as much as his yearn for his sister. his favorite person. his pillar. his happiness.
the gladiolus he had placed beside her had already began to wilt. the lit candles were beginning to weaken.
he hated this feeling. he wanted to be happy. but every time his legs bring him here, it always ends up in one, perpetual way.
he missed her so badly. the framed photo of her on her gravestone beamed a gorgeous, bright smile. but it was as if it was slowly fading away. he couldnt bare to throw a glance. he didnt want to accept the brutal reality. where did the perfect times go? 3 years ago, life was perfect. not even the thought of jeno could lighten up the dying candles. he felt himself sinking into the ground. he prayed.

na ml
ur never gna guess what fkn happened tonight.

my moms back istg

na?
bby??

2 MISSED CALLS FROM MY LOVE.

jaemin?? u alr?? 

smt up?

istg ur making me worried.

9 MISSED CALLS FROM MY LOVE.

oh jaemin. please dont be at the graveyard again.