Over and Over Again | ONC 2023

Chapter 9

"No?" Max asked, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sorry," Aurelia said and shook her head. "I just don't think things would work between us."

Aurelia rarely turned down dates and potential partners these days, but if Max really was who she thought he was, she couldn't do it. She couldn't lose Derek.

Not again.

"Why not?"

She took a deep breath. Her grip onto the cart's handlebar tightened as images of Derek suddenly flashed through her mind. She actively tried not to think about him most of the time, but knew that he'd always be a part of her, no matter what happened.

"You remind me of an ex, and I don't think I'm over him yet," she said quietly. She probably never would be.

"Well, that's no problem... I'll just leave you alone," he said and scrubbed his palm against his jaw. She could tell he was embarrassed but trying to appear unphased. "I expect I'll be here quite often though, Maria is quite the bookworm."

Aurelia let out a breath of relief, she had dealt with more than her share of relentless suitors who couldn't handle rejection. "You seem to spend a lot of time with her," she observed, trying to subtly figure out their sudden appearance at the library.

"My brother and sister-in-law are sort of going through something right now, so Maria's staying with me for the next couple of weeks," he explained. "They live in Edmonton, so they're only an hour or so away."

"I assume you'll stop coming to the library once she goes back?"

"Yup."

Thank goodness.

-

The chime played and echoed through the library as the clock struck eight.

Three, two, one, Aurelia counted in her head, before hearing the distant whoosh of the automatic sliding doors.

"Morning Aurelia!" Maria cheerfully called as she skipped by the front desk.

"No skipping in the library, Maria," she tried to say sternly, though she couldn't hide the laughter in her voice. Maria seemed to have a boundless amount of energy, even on a Saturday morning.

"Good morning," Max greeted her as he walked by.

"Morning," she said with a small nod.

Her gaze lingered, following the two of them headed towards the children's section of the library. Max wasn't kidding when he called Maria a bookworm; she had seen them visit twelve times since they first met, almost three weeks ago. It slowly became the highlight of her days – Maria was sweet and intelligent, always having something new she learned to share with Aurelia. Things between her and Max were courteous, though a small part of her was starting to question her decision.

The email Aurelia was writing slowed as she found herself peeking over her computer monitor. She was just close enough to see part of the children's section from her desk; Maria read as she sat on her usual bean bag chair, while Max sat at the table, writing something on a tablet.

She absentmindedly chewed on her pen as she observed them. Max twirled the stylus around his fingers in surprisingly complex patterns without giving it a thought. He occasionally ran his hand through his dark brown hair, letting out what looked like a sigh of frustration. It was always styled when they came in; loosely slicked back, but would be tousled and messy by the time they left.

Max looked up from his tablet, tapping his stylus against his chin, before suddenly making eye contact with her. He smirked and raised an eyebrow. He totally knew. Aurelia gasped and quickly ducked back down, wishing the world would just swallow her then and there. Her face felt set ablaze with mortification.

She slouched down into a ball, barely looking up high enough to see her screen. Maybe she could pretend to be sick and leave work early, or pull the fire alarm and escape in the chaos.

She hadn't properly spoken to him since that day. Their interactions had been brief; usually limited to a greeting in the morning, and a goodbye in the evening. She still couldn't help but keep her distance. Most of her time was spent at her desk while they were around. Normally, she could occasionally peek at them without getting caught.

When Maria checked out her books, Aurelia was still careful to avoid touching him again. Maybe there was nothing there and she had imagined all of it, but she doubted her heart could handle it if there was.

At the same time, part of her wondered if she should have given Max a chance when he asked. She knew that it was a time sensitive matter – most things were for humans anyways. Soon enough, Max wouldn't have a reason to come around anymore, and it would be too late.

She had always wished for a way to get Derek back – maybe this was it.

Elaine cleared her throat from behind her. "Aurelia? Would you mind reshelving these books?" she asked as she finished loading the cart.

Aurelia hopped out of her chair, desperate to get out of sight. "Sure." She paused as she examined the cart – it was filled with children's books. "Um, can it wait until tomorrow?" Aurelia meekly asked.

"I think you've been sitting there for too long, it'll be good for you." Elaine gave her a knowing smile that only made her face burn even hotter.

"You're not very subtle, Elaine," she groaned and dragged her hand down her face.

Elaine chuckled and took a sip of coffee. "I have no idea what you're talking about, dear," she said in a sing-song voice. "Now hurry up before those books need to leave."

With a heavy sigh, she heaved herself off of her chair and began rolling the cart. The children's section always made her smile; soft rugs and seating, fun posters, and colourful book covers. Today, however, she might as well have been walking into death row.

Max glanced up from his laptop and gave her a sly smile as she stopped at a nearby shelf. "Something catch your eye?"

"Nope," she mumbled and began shelving books. She could sense his attention, his eyes burned into the back of her head.

He lowered his voice, "If I didn't know any better, I would think you were into me."

Her face burned red – it had been doing that a lot recently. She awkwardly crab walked to the other end of the shelf, refusing to look at him. She had too much pride to let him see how stupidly flustered he had made her.

She cleared her throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He let out a half laugh, half scoff. "Whatever you say."

Aurelia rolled her eyes and got back to work. She quickly became distracted again, looking over as she noticed Maria quietly humming. There was a wide grin on her face as she swung her legs back and forth.

"You seem happy today, Maria," Aurelia said. She could see Max glancing up again from the corner of her eye, but she ignored him.

She looked up and gave her an enthusiastic nod. "My mom and dad called yesterday, I'm moving back home in a few days!"