Over and Over Again | ONC 2023

Chapter 10

Aurelia worked silently on autopilot, scanning returned books. A dreary fog had settled around her, clouding her vision and thoughts with dread and regret.

Hours had gone by since they left, but it could've been days or weeks as far as she was concerned. Time had always been a meaningless construct to her, though it was especially true at the moment. Admittedly, she took a look at his account again. He had signed up for a temporary card, and the only information available was his mailing address – a PO box. She was certainly not about to contact him through there.

"Aurelia?"

She nearly dropped the book she was holding at the feeling of Elaine touching her shoulder.

"Y-yeah, w-what's up?" she stumbled over her words.

Elaine rolled her chair over and sat down next to Aurelia with a soft hum. "Quite a handsome young man." She chuckled softly and patted the back of Aurelia's hand. "I was surprised you never tried engaging with him – especially with how interested you seemed."

She felt herself blush. "I wasn't," she mumbled.

Elaine took a folded up scrap of paper from her pocket. "Here," she said and handed it to her.

Aurelia raised an eyebrow, but Elaine simply gave her an encouraging nod. She gingerly unfolded it, revealing a phone number messily scratched in pen. Under the number was a message:

If you're reading this, I was right. You're totally into me.

"Elaine?" Aurelia said sternly and crossed her arms. "Care to explain?"

Elaine couldn't help but laugh out loud, a rare occurrence for the normally soft spoken and calm lady. "A few weeks ago, Max gave me his number to give to you," she explained, still grinning. "He seemed confident that you'd eventually want it and said to wait until it seemed like you really wanted it."

Aurelia groaned and buried her face into her hands. Apparently she only had enough will power and dignity to last for a few hours before that happened. She wanted to toss the note in the trash out of spite, but she'd be lying if she said the thought of reaching out wasn't tempting.

"Thanks," she grumbled, shoving the note into her pocket.

-

She sat down on the sofa and Lily curled up beside her. "What should I do?" she mumbled, stroking Lily's soft fur.

The gentle crackling of the glowing fireplace calmed her, but she felt her stomach twist every time she looked at the crumpled scrap of paper in her hand.

Aurelia had experienced many, objectively, terrifying moments throughout her life. She lived through wars and served in the military for many years; watched those around her die from the bubonic plague, smallpox, measles, and all sorts of other illnesses – she learned the hard way that she could still get sick despite being immortal; natural disasters; witch hunts; and countless other events.

She shouldn't have felt this afraid of sending a text.

Yet, here she was.

She picked up her phone again, looking at the message she had typed out hours ago. Her thumb nervously hovered over the send button as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Hey, it's Aurelia.

She immediately tossed her phone onto the sofa next to her, tucking her legs against her chest and burying her face into her knees. A minute or two passed before she felt her phone buzz.

You lasted longer than I expected.

-

Aurelia anxiously tapped her fingers against the coffee mug. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt nervous in anticipation of a date. Being an immortal who no longer cared about long term consequences made her feel apathetic towards dating. It was simply part of her regular routine she felt indifferent towards, like exercising or showering.

Elaine had happily given her the afternoon off. Aurelia told her she was sick, but she was sure Elaine could clearly see right through her lie. Fortunately, they had volunteers come in on Wednesdays to help – Elaine was the closest thing she had to a friend, and Aurelia would feel terribly guilty leaving her alone.

The cafe was surprisingly busy for a Wednesday afternoon. People typing away on laptops, the hissing of milk steamers, low chatter, and clanking cutlery. It was preferable to her, silence had always made her feel uneasy and on edge. Most libraries would be hell for her, but Elaine could be quite the chatterbox.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Max said as he sat down across from her. Stray snowflakes still clung to his hat and scarf as he tugged them off. "The weather's pretty rough out there."

She peered out the window. The gentle flurry on her way in had thickened to a snowstorm. It was one of her favourite parts about living in certain parts of Canada; she loved how drastically the world around her would change. In the winter, the bright white snow blanketed the earth, creating a completely new backdrop in scenery. She had moved to and from here at least a dozen times, if she remembered correctly.

"No problem," she said, trying to give him a smile.

"Do you want anything else?" Max asked, using his thumb to point towards the counter.

"Chamomile tea would be great, thank you." She couldn't tell whether her jitters were from the coffee or nerves. Either way, she hoped the tea would help calm her the hell down.

The barista was in her late teens, maybe barely twenty. Aurelia watched in amusement as the barista quickly perked up when Max approached the counter. Her cheeks flushed and she seemed to stumble over her words as she entered his order into the till.

Max brought their drinks back to the table; her tea and a black coffee for him. Aurelia added sugar to her tea, pretending it needed her full concentration as silence settled over them. Panic and adrenaline pumped through her veins. She wanted to get away, but simultaneously didn't want to leave him. She hesitantly peeked over the rim of her cup as she took a sip.

Max didn't look nervous whatsoever. He laced his fingers together and rested his chin on them. "So," he said and gave her a slight smirk, "You changed your mind, huh?"

She rolled her eyes, but a smile still tugged at her lips. "I won't deny that I agree with you," she said "there's... certainly something here." Understatement of the millennium, but he had no idea.

He chuckled and took a sip of coffee. "I'm glad to hear it."

She fiddled with her bracelet to keep herself occupied, she was worried she'd fall apart here and now otherwise. There was an indescribable glimmer in his eyes that tugged at her heartstrings when he laughed. They reminded her so much of Derek, it almost hurt to look at him.

"So, um," she cleared her throat, "what do you do?"

"Well I'm currently an investment banker," he explained, "but what I'd like to be is an author, for children's books specifically."

Aurelia raised her eyebrows. "That's cool, how has that been going for you so far?"

He laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not great, I've submitted my work to a bunch of publishers, but I've only gotten rejections so far."

"Could I see some of your work?" Aurelia asked. She knew Elaine had connections in the literary world, maybe she could help.

He handed her his tablet, and Aurelia swiped through the stories – he had even done his own illustrations. "Aw, these are adorable," Aurelia gushed. Each story was short and sweet. They followed a basic rhyming couplet, mostly involving talking animals.

"The most common feedback I get is that they're too generic," he said with a slight shrug.

Aurelia rubbed her chin. "Try writing through experience," she suggested. "You know, put your heart onto the page."

Max slightly raised his eyebrow and smiled. "Maybe I will."

She stirred her tea, starting to feel her muscles relax as they began chatting away, as if they had known each other for years. Somehow, being around him made her constant fear of loss fade into a dull murmur in her heart.

Maybe this was a good idea after all.