Greys anatomy - FanFiction

Chapeter 13

TRIGGER WARNING

2 weeks later
Charlottes POV
We had been home for a week now, neither Sophie or myself were doing well with losing our baby.  Since coming home from the hospital we haven't left our house or really done anything, its been hard on both of us, especially sophie she hasn't had as long to grieve and i know she still blames herself for what happened.

Sophie's POV
Day 42. It's been 42 days since i killed my baby, My whole body is aching, the doctors offered me pain pills but i refused, i deserve to be in pain after what i did. It's all my fault.
Day 46
I haven't left my bed since we got home from the hospital, the only times I've gotten up were when charlotte carried me to me the bath, cleaned and changed my clothes, she did this every few days. I know this isn't fair on her, she lost her baby too and now she's losing me.
Day 49
"Hey love, I'm going out to get some grocery's, Amelias here if you need anything okay"
I didn't move, i couldn't. I heard her sigh when i didn't respond. i knew she was hurting too, i hear her crying in the shower at night, the pain in her voice. Shes in pain because of me.
Amelia's come in a few times to check on me, i don't respond to her either. Im laying in bed staring at the ceiling, flashes of the accident replaying in my head over and over. Tears began flowing down my face, and then there it was, the urge to cut washed over me and its all i could think about. I instinctively got out of bed, wincing as i put pressure on my legs for the first time in a while,
Only a few steps to the bathroom
I took one step and then another. Soon enough i was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, i held the blade over my wrist, i made one small cut, the feeling I had been craving rushed back, for just a second the weight was lifted and i could breathe. I made another cut and then another one, I kept going, getting so caught up in what i was doing, that i didn't notice Amelia or Charlotte walk into the room or that tears were streaming down my face as i screamed at them to let me die. I felt charlotte's arms wrap around my waist, holding on to me as tight as she could while Amelia grabbed the blade and cleaned my arm. Amelia picked my body off the floor and carried me out of the bathroom, through our bedroom and placed me down on the couch. Charlotte crawled behind me and positioned me so i was laying in between her legs. She stroked my hair, telling me over and over that it was going to be okay, i think she was saying it for herself as much as me.
"Char" i choked out, moving my head to look at her
"yes my love" she spoke so softly and had the most gentle look in her eyes
"I'm so so- sorry" i cried
"Shh shhh sweets, you do not have to be sorry, were both hurting right now and we haven't dealt with it. We've just let it bubble up and it came out in different ways for both of us" there was a sadness in her voice
I moved my body so my body was facing her "what do you mean"
"You cut yourself and i um" she looked away, a guilty look passing over her face
I lifted her chin back up to look at me "Hey, tell me what happened"
"I umm i bought drugs, I didn't take them but i bought them" tears fell from her eyes, she tried to wipe them away quickly
"Hey, hey no you need to let it out" i held her hand in mine
"You mad at me" she asked her as more tears fell
"No my love, never. I haven't exactly been there for you, we both lost her, not just me and i ignored that"
I looked at her and took a deep breathe "were both going to get help, we will get through this"
I moved forward and kissed her on the lips "i love you so much Charlotte king, always"
" i love you too Sophie King" she gave me a small laugh
"Mmm i still love how that sounds" i laughed
We sat there on the couch laughing and smiling, in that moment everything felt okay.