Beloved Dear, Look At Me For Once | ✔

Chapter Five

New gazed at the lake of the temple, the still and clear water reflecting the grey clouds moving slowly in a circle as he walked up on the pier.

Stopping just before where it ended, he took a long breath in an attempt to clear his mind and looking at the soul soothing scenery;

The waving green leaves of the trees, the birds that chirped and flew here and there from the branches, the wind that smelled of rain and wet soil,

It genuinely brought him some comfort in the form of the slightest of the grins on his face as he then gazed at the mirror like reflection of it all in the lake.

Accidentally catching his own image in the still water, the black clothes he wore reminded him of the tale of last night as he undesirably transported back to the moment which was another knife stuck deep into his already bleeding heart.

"Joss...?"

He'd heard his love's squeaking voice vividly, as he'd seen him shaking the deceased once again, sucking breaths in disbelief.

"Joss, my love?"

And his heart had ached with different but strong pains as tears had burned his eyes,

The first pain, he'd gotten used to it, knowing that he's never looked at him like that and probably might never do so,

But the second... It had felt like he would die from this stabbing in his chest, wondering what would he be feeling right at this moment...

His love might never love him back... But he had been in front of his eyes, in one piece, breathing, speaking...

Unlike the one in his love's arms who looked nothing more than a fleshy rag doll,

He'd felt like bursting into tears but had controlled himself.

For his sake, as he'd silently inched closer to him, who, staring in his lover's distant eyes, had slowly started to realize what was in front of him had been the reality...

No! That couldn't be right!

"Joss!"

He'd shaken him and had called out, his voice cracking terribly.

New, who had crouched beside him by now, had seen how his love had gazed at the man in his arms for a long while before he'd seen his thumb gently stroking his lover's cheeks once before hearing him say in the most tiniest and heart breaking voices ever,

"Joss, come back, please..."

And his heart had soared in pain once again, not able to hold back the tears anymore, when his love had burst into heart wrenching sobs,

"Joss!"

He had watched through tears as his love had put himself against the one, whose eyes had been nothing but far away, his body shaking with sobs before he'd taken the man's limp body in his arms, completely wrapping himself around him, and rocking back and forth, begging in between sobs,

"Joss, come back, please!"

New had wanted to reach out so much in that moment,

Had wanted to take him in his embrace and comfort him,

Yet all he could do was just sit there and place his hand on the bricked pavement, faintly hearing the sirens of an ambulance wail in the distance,

"Please, Joss, please! Don't leave me alone!"

New had watched as residents had backed away and the ambulance had come to a halt, medics pouring out with stretcher.

And his being had ached again, knowing he would have to tear his love away from the one he'd loved the most.