Top Gun Rooster

Chapter 4: Somewhere I Belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
    "Somewhere I Belong" -Linkin Park

    Pete's P-51 Mustang was as clean as it had ever been. The engine was purring and even the propellers were shiny. All the fluids were freshly replaced. The interior was sparkling. Pete was proud of his work on this old plane, a model used during World War II and the Korean War. There were very few of these planes around now, and he was glad to be an owner of one. He certainly wouldn't be getting to Mach speeds in this plane, which at its best would get just over half that speed, and in comparison to what he had recently flown, this was horse and buggy compared to a modern automobile.

It wasn't as if he expected to need to push this plane that hard though. He was not going to be in any fighting situation. This plane would only be used for the pleasure of flying. It was a great plane to fly, a fun plane to fly. The plane had been altered to fit a passenger, and he had put in leather seat cushions to cover the usual hard metal seats. He had already taken Penny out for a flight. The extra weight was not a problem since the plane was a fighter bomber, and obviously he wouldn't be carrying any weapons.

    He wandered around the hangar, tidying the place as something to do while waiting for Amelia to get out of school. She had been excited when Maverick had asked if she wanted to go on a flight in this plane, and Penny had allowed it, as long as he wasn't showing off fighter pilot maneuvers. In the mean time there wasn't much to do. He went through his tool cabinet, rearranging a few things that were out of place. He threw out some old greasy rags.

    Retirement was turning out to be much harder than Pete had envisioned. After all, his life had been defined by his being a fighter pilot. It was who his was, it was what he did. Now that he didn't have that, who was he? He was no longer Maverick. He was just Pete Mitchell, retired Captain. What did he know about being retired? He thought that he would get to spend the time he wanted on making this plane everything that it could be, and he did do that. He thought he could hang out with the other retired pilots, but there was only so much of that he could do. What was there to talk about other than glory days? That was too depressing. He used to look down upon these guys, who had their best days behind them, and now he was becoming one of them.

    He could ride his motorcycle. He could take road trips. But his bike really wasn't meant for long distance riding, it was meant for speed. Aside from that, if he wanted to be part of Penny's life, that meant that he would need to stick around, not be gone for weeks on cross-country road trips. Penny wasn't in a position where she could take road trips either. She had her business at The Hard Deck to manage, and she had a teenager to care for. So she couldn't just leave for long periods of time either. He had his exercise routine, but when that was over, there were only so many movies to watch, and he wasn't much of a reader. What else did he have other than his plane and his bike?

    When he was young, he filled his life with womanizing, but even if he wanted to do that, he didn't want to be the old guy hitting on women. That just gave him the creeps. He was many years overdue to settle down, to be part of a relationship. Not that there was a deadline. But he  was too old now to have children. He had never even really thought about having children, but he never had a desire to have any of his own. If he had children now, what energy would he have to give them? He was of the age to have grandchildren, not children of his own.

    So what was his life about now? What was there for him anywhere now that he was just Pete Mitchell? Where did he belong? He was just an old guy with stories now. But he didn't belong with the other old guys telling stories. He didn't belong in a grocery store bagging groceries for something to do. Although he respected Penny's bar and restaurant, he couldn't see himself working there, serving the guys flying the fighter jets. That would be awkward, to say the least. It would be too depressing. And he didn't want to be the guy who retired just watch television while waiting to die.