airplane mode; kv ✓

fourty nine.

tw: self harm

Taehyung let out a heavy exhale, leaning against the sink with his wrist running under the cold tap. Jeongguk wasn't home as he had to go out to meet a friend, so he was now alone and able to do whatever.

Taehyung felt as if he was spiralling again, his vision was barely clear and all he could see was red on his sink which wasn't washing away no matter how long he stood there for.

I can't do this, I can't keep working I just wanna rot in bed. Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, running his entire arm under the tap next. He hated how he could wash away the aftermath but never the regret and guilt he'd feel afterwards.

I can stop, I'll stop after this. It was just because of the nightmares. Taehyung felt his balance weaken and he helplessly fell down onto the floor, pushing his body up against his sink cabinets to keep himself up.

His phone buzzed which he picked up slowly, jaw chattering even though he wasn't cold.

Boss man
I'm on my on my way back now, are you busy? I wanna take you out for lunch.

Taehyung breathed heavily, trying to type a response but failing. He dropped the phone involuntarily and sniffled, staring down at the crimson seeping onto the tiles.

I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

Jeongguk stared at his phone confused whilst he stopped at the red lights.  Taehyung would usually only take less than a few seconds to respond, but this time it had been an hour and the boy hadn't replied.

Thankfully, he had arrived already with some snacks in a white bag for Taehyung which he had picked up on the way.

Just as he was about to get out of the car, his phone lit up indicating they Taehyung had tweeted.

tae tae | thvtae
I fucked up really bad I don't know what to do I can't breathe I really didn't mean to go this far and my boyfriends coming back soon I don't want to do

Jeongguk instantly rushed out of his car, he would've assumed that Taehyung had done something stupid such as dying his hair again or whatever but the way he didn't type the way he usually does made him worry.

He left the bag inside and instead ran straight to the door, not even locking his car door.

Please be okay. Jeongguk pounded his fist against the door, scanning the front yard to see if there was any spare key which there wasn't.

The longer the time it took for Taehyung to open the door, the more he began to panic until he felt like he couldn't breathe. For a second he debated if he should actually just climb through Taehyung's window, but then the door opened.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk pushed himself in, eyes examining the frightened look on Taehyung's face, "What have you done?"

"W-what?" Taehyung's expression was dazed which made Jeongguk even more worried.

Jeongguk felt like he was losing control of all his emotions, "What have you done? Tell me, what have-"

"I'm fine! I haven't done anything I don't know what you're talking about!" Taehyung looked at him disbelief.

"Taehyung, tell me what the fuck happened I know you did something because you took so long to reply to me," Jeongguk harshly grabbed Taehyung's face and examined it for any injuries, then he reached for Taehyung's arm which the boy was quick to pull away.

"Mr. Jeon, I'm fine, I saw your text in the shower and then I was busy drying my hair," Taehyung laughed, feeling guilty and selfish from how worried he was making Jeongguk feel.

Jeongguk let out a sigh and he engulfed the boy in a tight hug. "Thank God," he breathed out, feeling a little bit more at ease since Taehyung was laughing and smiling. Maybe it was something stupid.

Taehyung swallowed down the immense guilt and closed his eyes, placing his shaking hands against Jeongguk's chest to feel the man's heartbeat. That made him feel even more worse, he was absolutely terrified that he has gone too far and wouldn't be able to feel the heartbeat again.

"I'm gonna go lock my car and get your snacks," Jeongguk pulled away from Taehyung who hummed and watched him leave with sunken eyes.

He dragged his feet to the couch and he laid down the gracefully, letting his eyes close due to being too fatigued. He could hear Jeongguk coming back the bag ruffling against his thighs and when he shut the door behind him.

"Are you tired?" Jeongguk sat down beside the boy and ran his fingers through Taehyung's hair causing the younger to shudder.

"Mr. Jeon, do you think it'll all get better?" Taehyung low voice came out muffled due to his face being buried against a cushion.

Jeongguk stared down at him with a saddened expression, "It will. It'll take som time, but it will. Things don't just improve overnight or when we want, it always takes time to over come things and for everything to become stable,"

Taehyung let out a shaky sigh and he moved his head to the side, "I don't think I ever will,"

"Why? What makes you say that?" Jeongguk frowned deeply and helped the boy sit up which the younger seemed to struggle with.

Taehyung leaned against Jeongguk's side for support and stared down at the floor with heavy eyes, "I won't, it won't get better for me."

"It will Taehyung, things take their time," Jeongguk caressed his shoulder and listened to his short breaths with worry inside of him.

"Do you still want to go out for lunch?" Taehyung removed himself from Jeongguk who seemed against the idea.

"I think you should sleep or something, you look really pale," Jeongguk placed his hand against Taehyung's forehead which was surprisingly cold.

"No, no I wanna go out with you," Taehyung whined and shook Jeongguk's arm, "Let's go, I'm perfectly fine,"

"Okay okay, we'll go some place nearby," Jeongguk stood up first and held out a hand for Taehyung who gently took it and pulled himself up.

Taehyung let out a groan and stumbled into Jeongguk causing their bodies to crash, he quickly grabbed the elders arms for support but he could barely make out what he was doing.

"Taehyung, Taehyung- hey hold onto me," Jeongguk attempted to hold the boy up, but the latter collapsed fully in his arms causing him to kneel down and let him fall.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk shook the now unconscious boy by his shoulders, "Taehyung," he tapped the boys pale face, cursing when Taehyung still didn't respond.

He quickly picked him up, he decided that the ambulance or his private doctor would take far too long to arrive so he was going to do it himself.

Jeongguk glanced down at Taehyung with tears now forming in his eyes.

What have you done?

Guys I wrote this because I wanted to make it clear that Taehyung's life won't just get better just because he met jeongguk because jeongguk is just there for support and to love him not cure him

And sometimes things just can't be cured within a few months