airplane mode; kv ✓

fifty.

50 CHAPTERS 😰

Jeongguk paced outside of Taehyung's room stressfully, chewing down on his thumb as he waited for a doctor to update him or a nurse. The boy had been upgraded to a VIP room where he had been treated in for the past hour.

Please be okay. Jeongguk ran his fingers through his hair, flinching when the door in front of him slid open and a woman in a blue nurse outfit stepped out along with a woman wearing a white coat.

"Mr. Jeon," The doctor greeted him with a smile, "The patient is awake now, we've stitched up his wounds and administered some blood transfusion. The loss wasn't major so he'll only be on it for a few hours and likely discharge by tonight,"

"Wounds? What wounds?" Jeongguk crossed his arms, head hurting from how much it was thinking about Taehyung.

"The self-inflicted ones? The patient arrived with bandages around his arms, he is refusing to speak about what he used though but judging by the injury we suspect a knife perhaps," The nurse spoke up, rather confused as to why Jeongguk didn't know since he was the one that found Taehyung unconscious.

Jeongguk felt his legs grow week and a strange feeling grow in his chest. He was devastated yet angry, angry that he hadn't realised and that Taehyung had lied to him. He understood that it was difficult to admit, but he had genuinely began to believe Taehyung would start opening up more.

"Is...is he okay? Can I see him? How bad was it?" Jeongguk had so many questions, but he wanted Taehyung first.

"He is stable now, we had to also supply some oxygen due to the blood loss and he has stopped breathing since there wasn't enough oxygen being received in the lungs. We were worried about his heart stopping, but thankfully he got here before he had lost anymore,"

Jeongguk couldn't contain his tears anyway and he let out a cry, "Can I see him?"

"Yes, we will return to monitor his condition," The doctor stepped out of the way for Jeongguk who hurried over to the door and slid it open.

Jeongguk felt his heart stop when he stepped into the room and Taehyung was sitting up in bed, head casted down to his newly bandaged arms. Jeongguk desperately wanted to see his face, to see for himself that he was okay.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk's hand skipped along the bed covers as he walked closer to Taehyung who hesitantly looked up. The boy had a nasal cannula that was delivery oxygen. He didn't waste anytime to sit down beside the boy and cup his face, "Tae, are you okay?"

Taehyung felt too embarrassed to speak. He felt ashamed, guilty and so incredibly selfish. He hated himself even more due to making Jeongguk cry and his life so miserable since had to deal with his mental illness.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I keep doing this and dragging you down," Taehyung flinched when Jeongguk hugged him tight, the younger could feel his body shaking from silent cries that the elder was trying to hide.

"God Tae, I just want you to tell me, why are you so scared of coming to me? Why do not tell me whenever you do this?"

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, unable to answer Jeongguk, "I'm sorry," was all he could say.

"Fuck, this isn't fucking fair Taehyung, do you know how bad it hurts to see you end up like this when one minute you're all happy and flirting?" Jeongguk parted from Taehyung who hiccuped and roughly wiped his eyes.

"How do you think I feel? Do you think I like doing this to myself? I want to stop so bad but I can't because no matter how hard I try to happy something always comes back and haunts me," Taehyung let out a sob and buried his face into his hands, "I know I'm fucking selfish."