After All These Years

Chapter one

"And cut!" yelled Harry, your director. "y/n darling you were amazing as always. That's all we need for today everybody, let's wrap up and we'll continue tomorrow." he says as everyone starts packing things up. You say your goodbyes to everyone and before you realize it you are driving back to your apartment down the busy streets of New York. The whole drive back to your place is pretty quick for it to be rush hour on a wednesday night in the city. Once you get home the valet takes your car and you go into your apartment.

You walk through the front door only to trip over one of the many boxes in your apartment. Your girlfriend Kayla and you had broken up a month prior and she was in the process of moving out, however she had to go on a business trip to London for two weeks so all of her things were still at your apartment, in boxes but still taking up space, space that still hurt. Kayla and you had been together for almost three years so of course this break up really hurt. Even though you were still heartbroken it was nothing compared to the heartbreak you had when you were 23. Kayla had been the closest you had been to ever loving someone the way you loved Taylor, she was the one that almost made you forget about her, but it all fell apart just when you were about to do it.

Emilia was sitting on your couch eating ice cream directly from the bin which honestly, is not weird at all. Emila had been your best friend since you were 15 and got your first role. You both were on the biggest t.v. show on the planet and since then you have become inseparable. You have wandered through stardom and what it all means together, you knew everything about her and she thought she knew everything about you, however that isn't true. She has no idea about Taylor, in her mind it was all nothing more than a friendship that died over time due to busy schedules. She has no clue Taylor Swift has been the greatest love you've ever had.

Taylor and you dated for about two years in the span of 2012 to 2014. The problem was that both of you were in the closet and so terrified to come out, being in the public eye since you were 15, the two of you were so scared to come out and blow everything you had worked so hard to get. Scared of what your family and friends would say. The idea of coming out was so terrifying for the both of you that you never did. You wondered about life as just friends and it seemed to work because no one ever suspected a thing, she met some of your friends and family just like you met some of hers but never as more than a friend, the both of you were okay with that. At the end of the relationship it kept getting harder and harder to hide who you were and why neither of you were dating or even had the initiative to go on a date. Your schedules started getting busier and busier and the fear of being outed and losing everything was stronger than the love you had for each other.

Taylor was the perfect example of the right person at the wrong time. The breakup was mutual and you knew it was for the best. Neither of you wanted to hurt the other and breaking up was the best way to achieve that, so that's what you did. You broke up and on a scale of 1 to 10 on how painful it was for you it was an 11. You couldn't even describe how awful you felt, you were heartbroken and no one but Taylor knew what was going on. The only person who could understand your pain was Taylor. Your friends and family were always there for you, they knew something was wrong and even though they tried to help you they never really understood what had happened. They just thought you went into a deep depression and they were not entirely wrong.

That break up made you angry, it infuriated you that you had to end the best and most wholesome relationship you've ever had because you felt the world was not a safe place to love who you wanted to love. Over the years you got over Taylor, you dated more girls, some were serious, some were not, however none of them were Taylor. You hadn't felt what you had felt with Taylor for anyone and breaking up with Kayla killed the only hope you had of ever feeling that way for someone again.

Over the years you have been following Taylor's career carefully. You had watched her make the most incredible records, watched her date other people, watched her suffer and watched her be happy. You hated to admit it but you went to both the 1989 world tour and the Reputation tour, but you never told her that. You wondered which songs were about you and which were about the other guys. You only knew for sure that Everything Has Changed, I Know Places and You Are In Love were about you because she personally told you.