After All These Years

Chapter three (Paine)

Taylor had arranged the songs in order and by albums, you decided to listen to them backwards why? Maybe because you knew that the songs on RED were probably the ones that hurt the most because those were the songs from when you started dating. You listen to the Reputation song first and it was beautiful, the way she played with words more professionally than before was astonishing, then you listened to the 1989 tracks and even though these were more upbeat and pop they were still beautiful. Your heart ached at each song you listened to, each word she said, the way she said it. You could still feel Taylor's love for you on the songs when she sang. You could picture her writing the songs, recording the songs, making changes to it. You could picture her perfectly.

You finally got to the ones on Red. You listen to the first one called Message in a Bottle and your heart breaks a little bit with each word she sings. Shedding a few tears the song finished and you moved on to the next one called Run. The first few words began and your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach. The song was beautiful, the most beautiful song you've ever heard. The way her voice sounded you could feel all the love in her voice, all those feelings she had for you, the way she sang made the song even more beautiful.

The song told your story, the way the two of you used to hide from the world, how you gave everything into that relationship and how beautiful it was, how you used to exchange little love notes like teenagers and how you two ran from everything and everyone to be together. You couldn't stop the sobs that came out of your mouth by the time the song was over. Seeing Taylor had apparently hit you harder than you expected and hearing these songs she wrote about you made your heart ache at what you lost when you broke up. How much you wished you could have had a normal relationship without being scared that the world would judge you.

Emilia walked through the front door and the moment she saw you crying she ran towards you and wrapped you in her arms. Run was playing again and again, you had no idea how many times you had heard it but you just couldn't stop. She held you in her arms without saying anything for a while, she let you take it all out. After a few minutes she finally spoke.

"What happened sweetheart? Is this about Kayla?" she asked, wiping away the tears that were still falling from your eyes, you just shook your head no. "Then what happened? Why are you crying while listening to the same Taylor Swift song over and over again?"

"I- I- I- '' you tried to speak but words were not coming out. You couldn't even form the words to say what you needed to say. You took a few breaths trying to calm yourself down before speaking again. "There's something I never told you, not anyone to be honest." you finally say, ready to tell your best friend everything, ready for her to know what had happened all those years ago.

"What is it?" Emila asked, sitting on the chair next to you looking very worried.

"Back in 2012, before Taylor was going to release the Red album, you know when I met her at the party we went to? The one Jason organized?" you finally manage to stop the tears from falling down your face and are able to form coherent words.

"Yeah yeah I remember that party." Emilia says.

"Well after that party Taylor and I became really close. We did everything together and I loved her Emilia," you say looking at her hoping she understood what you were saying but by the look on her face you could see she didn't understand a thing. "We fell in love Em, we dated all the way from the last few months of 2012 to the beginning of 2014. It was all a secret we never told anyone, not any friends or family, we were too scared to come out to the world. Taylor has been the truest and purest relationship I've ever had, even though it was all in secret. We loved each other so deeply Emilia, she made me so fucking happy and even though I have dated other women after her I have never felt towards any of them the way I felt about Taylor."