In A Relationship With TXT Beomgyu

27 | Me, My Mind

"And, lastly I would like to thank you all for joining us here. Japan gave us so much love, and we don't know how to show our gratitude other than just trying to reach up to your expectations every day somehow."

Chayoung was fluent in a lot of languages, so she was our official speaker on our tour in Japan. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and Lavender hugged her from behind while Olive dabbed her cheek carefully to not ruin the eye make up. Ruby and I stood beside them. While everyone was crying openly, since we were officially closing in Japan, I was standing there numb. Not really crying.

"We lack a lot." The crowd screamed 'no', and I chuckled. Our fans really took us in a high regard. Chayoung continued, "We're completing our four years in coming months, and I felt happy all this time, thanks to Blues. Our members, I would like to thank you for being so kind and patient towards my chaotic self. I love you all."

There was something about Chayoung aka Teal. She seemed like an open book, and people often mistook her as one, but I knew better. It was a sham to cover up what really mattered in her life, but I never dug out. I never shared my secrets, troubles with her, so it would be unfair to ask for hers. I had tried though, but soon realized she was my copy in that sense. Closed off.

"To our leader, Ae-Cha unnie." I went to her and gave her head a pat. She loved me. I knew that. I loved her too. I hope she knew that too. "The pillar of the group. I love you, and it has been a successful journey to this point because Midnight Blues have you."

We all did a group hug, took photographs and retired for the night. Before this concert, Olive and Teal/Chayoung were arguing over something, but now they were back to being clingy to each other. God saved the person who hurt Chayoung, Olive would cut him into pieces. I hugged them all goodbyes. We all had different plans for our last night in Tokyo. Ruby had her friends here, Teal wanted to visit her aunt, Olive was out with her boyfriend, and Lavender wanted to sleep.

I also had a meeting with someone here. Miyoung stood on the other side of the door. I smiled and went for a hug, but she stepped back and opened the door wider. I frowned. We hadn't talked properly for a long time, so if she was feeling a little weird then it was okay. We would talk and it would be alright. I pushed a bright smile and entered the room, only to freeze after seeing the other person there.

I whirled to see Miyoung giving me an awkward smile. "Ae-Cha, you already know Soobin. We're dating."

"Dating? This guy?" I choked on air, and turned to Soobin. My blood boiled at the sight of his smile. He got to be fucking kidding me. "He's playing you. Soobin doesn't have any feelings for you," I gritted out.

"Ae-Cha!" She acted like I had something scandalous. My words might seem harsh, but I couldn't believe that Miyoung was falling for his pretense. "He's your senior-"

"Miyoung." I cut her off. "I don't know what's he playing at, but don't. I beg you." I ignored Soobin and held her hands. "After what happened with Beomgyu, he is hell mad at me, and a part of reason for approaching you is to break me. Trust me, he's no good for you. You deserve-"

"You did wrong with Beomgyu." Miyoung shrugged off my hold on her. My hands felt cold suddenly. "Soobin oppa, give us a moment?" She smiled at the devil himself and I watched him walking away.

"You don't know him," I blurted out. "He's not what he looks like. Trust me-"

"Soobin is right to be mad at you, Ae-Cha. But you've to know, not everything revolves around you." Her eyes turned red as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I've always loved Soobin, and you've always, freaking always tried to take him away."

"Take Soobin away?" I stumbled back on my steps. "Miyoung... I would never... never do that to you."

"Your heart couldn't be satisfied just with Beomgyu, so you took Soobin. Who's next? Jake? He's here with Jungwon, no? Always trying desperately to make everyone fall in love with you!" Her cruel words hit me.

"Miyoung. You're not in your right mind. Let's talk later." I blinked my tears, because I didn't want to give Soobin this satisfaction.

"Why?" She snapped, and I jumped. My friend had never raised her voice at me. "Should I tell you why you're the way you are? Because you've never been loved. Never. Everyone rejected you, so now you're doing the same. First you broke Beomgyu's heart, made him a laughing stock of the world. He does not even want to see your face. That's how pathetic you are, Ae-Cha."

I stared at her. "Are you even -" I choked on my words, tears now freely falling from my eyes.

"I think netizens are right. Your selection in Midnight Blues could be because of Sunhee unnie. Or maybe that CEO rumor-"

I slapped her. My skin vibrated with the impact, and I stared between her and my hand in horror. What did I do? Shit. "Miyoung-" I tried to come close, but she pushed me.

"I thought you would be happy for me, but I forgot what you are. You have tried everything to be the greatest of all, but look where you are. Beomgyu hates you. Public hates you. Your group members, huh, you don't even have them. And, me? You lost your friend too." She knocked her shoulder with mine as she left from there.

I silently walked out of the room, and hailed a cab back to the hotel. My group members were already huddled up together, showing each other what they have bought from the Japanese market. Olive saw me first, and her smile dropped. The other three also turned to me, and stood up slowly.

I got drenched in rain on my way to the road where I got the cab. My hair was wet, and I bet my eyes were red. I had never showed any vulnerability with my group members. Somehow it felt wrong to burden them, but tonight was different.

"Can I get a hug?" I whispered. Ruby took a careful step forward as if she heard me wrong. I had never openly asked for their comfort. "I'm not doing fine. I'm in pain," I tried to breath as I said the words. "Can I get a hug?"

Lavender burst into tears and ran to tackle me in a tight hug. Others followed, and that's how I spent the night. In their company. Talking to them. Talking about them. Talking about myself. And, not feeling like I have carry the weight of the world. It was one of the most peaceful night I had in a while.

Miyoung and Soobin? I pushed them into the darkest corner of my mind. I was done with other people right now. For having peace, I have to focus on myself only.

Jungwon came to visit me in the morning. We were leaving by evening. He sat in the corner chair and listened to the latest song I was writing when the door to my room swung open. Chayoung stood tall, a determined look in her eyes.

"Jungwon Sunbae is going to come anytime now, so before he says something, I need to tell you-"

My eyes widened, and I opened my mouth to warn her that my friend was already in the room. "Chayoung, he is-"

"I kissed him. We kissed. Jungwon Sunbae and I."

The guy in the corner took off his earphones and stared at Chayoung, his jaw clenched. I opened and closed my mouth, unsure how to react. "Okay?" I glanced at Jungwon and she followed my gaze.

"Fuck," she cursed.

With the way, he stared at her it was indeed fuck.