Both smiled brighter under the sunlight. [CURRENTLY DISCONTINUED]

Will you forgive me? My best friend...

TW: themes of self harm, suicide, hallucinations, derealization, hospitalization, mentions of transphobia, and detailed descriptions of panic attacks

proofread by @iheart_thebritish

3707 words

Basil POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Basil slowly opened his eyes, immediately shutting them again from the bright lights inside of the hospital. Everything was a blur and he felt sick. What happened yesterday? ...Was it yesterday? If not then how long was he out for? Those were the questions racing through his head at lightning speed. He heard voices that sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He still felt slightly delirious from the fight and all of the blood loss. He might have a concussion, too. Sunny did hit him pretty hard... "...uys! He's waking up!" 

Even though he didn't fully hear what they said, he recognized the voice, he opened his eyes again. This time, getting the lights blocked by Kel leaning over the edge of his bed, lightly poking him on the cheek to try and wake him up faster. Once Basil was fully aware of his surroundings and his eyes fully opened (one drooping lower than the other from the swelling), Aubrey shoved Kel out of the way and hugged Basil as tightly as she possibly could, and cried onto his shoulder as if she's never cried before that day. "...Sniff.... I-I-I'm so s-sorry... P-Please... Please f-forgive me... I-I'm... sniff... I'm so so s-so sorry... I-I never should have... sniff... d-done those h-horrible things to you... P-Please forgive me... P-Please... Sniff." 

Basil tried to say something along the lines of 'Don't worry about it,' or 'I forgive you,' or 'Everything will be okay,' but his throat hurt from the lack of use, and he was getting suffocated by Aubrey's hug. So he settled for grabbing one of her hands, then when she finally looked up at him, he smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. She wiped the tears from her eyes and gave him a small smile back. When he knew she was okay, Basil let go of her hand and let his face relax. She took a step back and sat down in a chair to gather herself again, muttering another hundred apologies as she sat. 

Hero got up and grabbed onto Basil's right hand while Kel grabbed his left, both smiling down at him. Hero stared at Basil's face, his smile fading as he looked at all of the bruises and scars. Then he lowered his gaze and looked at his stomach, where Basil had dug the shears into his skin as a way to try and put an end to all of the pain and hurt that he had endured and caused over the years. He felt tears forming in his eyes, but tried to compose himself, not wanting to cry in front of everyone, and looked back up into Basil's eyes. 

"We were really worried about you. You've been out of it for about a week now... We honestly thought you weren't going to make it..." His voice was shaky and sounded as if he was going to burst into tears any second, the same way Aubrey did. Kel's grip on his hand tightened at the words 'weren't going to make it.'

Hero took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting go of Basil's hand and folding them in his lap as he sat down next to Aubrey. "I-I... I know you might not want to answer this, but i-if you're okay with it, then... w-why... why did you try to..." He said, leaving his sentence unfinished as a single tear dripped down his cheek. 

He bit his lip and dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand, trying to prevent any more from falling. Basil could tell that it hurt, and he wanted to get up and give him a hug in return. He needed to be there for the person that he considered his older brother for the longest time, especially since he'd caused so much pain for him. But he knew that Hero would be livid if he risked injuring himself just to try and help calm him down.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "...A-A lot of reasons..." Hero wiped his face on his sleeve and his expression softened. "...C-Can... Can you tell me those reasons? I went to med school because I want to be able to help people who want to hurt themselves because I know how it feels to lose someone because of it. Although... I already failed at that, didn't I? I can't even live up to the name that you guys gave me, haha. I failed you. I failed everyone. You, Sunny, Kel, Aubrey, Mari... All of you..."