Lost in the Moment

Chapter 7: Longing

The morning breeze greets Haruto's face while he was on his way to the college. He inhaled a deep breath while looking around his path which had concealed the memories of him and Jeongwoo. His eyes landed on the swing where the two of them used to sit and he recalled back to the things that happened back then. "Woo, I don't know whether it's a good thing I've known about the past since you are not here anymore. I thought I had managed my feelings well since you were gone. But, I realized that I miss you a lot." mumbled Haruto alone.

"Yah..Ruto hyung!" Haruto was startled when he heard his name being called and directly looking at the source of the voice and saw Junghwan happily wave at him with Doyoung following him at the back. Haruto just waved at the couple back.

Junghwan and Doyoung just got into a relationship for a month. Although Doyoung is older than Junghwan, it seems like they click well.

"Do you have morning class today, hyung?" asked Junghwan when they got closer to where Haruto was standing.

"Emm..my class is at 10.00 am, but I am planning to catch breakfast at the cafe near the college." replied Haruto. "How about you guys? Early class?" he asked.

"Erm...not really. We both have class in the afternoon. So, just wanna spend some time together before that." Junghwan smiles lavishly while hugging Doyoung's shoulder.

"Owh.. how about we go for breakfast together?" invite Haruto.
"That's great. Let's go." said Doyoung. So, the three of them walk together while talking about some random topics heading towards the cafe that Haruto suggested.

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"Hyung, have you heard from Jihoon hyung?" asked Junghwan towards Haruto while they were having their breakfast.
"About what?" asked Haruto shortly.
"Jeongwoo." said Doyoung and Junghwan just nodded his head.
Haruto stopped chewing his toast when the said name had been mentioned while looking at Junghwan and Doyoung back and forth. He waited in silence for them to continue. His heart flinched every time he heard that name. He really wants to know more about that person but never has the courage to ask anyone.
"We heard that he will be coming back this summer. Can't wait to see him again. We should gather around when he is here. It's been a long time since we saw him." said Junghwan.
"True. I think it's been a while since he replied to the email. Maybe he was busy with his studies. Hope we can spend some time together while he is here." said Doyoung.
A little smile creeps on Haruto's lips. He really felt overwhelmed by the news. But, knowing that everything will be different since they parted years ago makes him anxious on how they will react when they meet again.
"And hyung....there is more. Have you heard about Junkyu and Mashiho?" Junghwan voices it hesitatingly since they all knew about Haruto and Junkyu's past relationship.
"About them together?" asked Haruto with a little smirk on his face. "How I wouldn't know since we were in the same circle of friends." replied Haruto. "In fact, there were many times that we bump into each other when they were together. It's good for them. Maybe they will become a good pair. Me and Junkyu hyung agreed to end ours with open heart after all. Maybe Mashiho can give him everythings that I couldn't before." replied Haruto calmly.
Junghwan and Doyoung just nodded silently. Not long after that, they bid their goodbye when Haruto has to go to his class leaving the couple to spend their time alone.

26 June 2018

It's been a while. I almost gave up on this diary. But, today I was a bit emotional. I know I shouldn't have the right to feel this way since our conversation at the park before. He made it clear that we are just friends. But still it hurts when knowing that he had a feeling towards someone else and the thought of me being the third wheeling worsened how I felt right now. They had been together for long, it surely had developed a feeling toward each other. Although it hurts, they really look good together. Hopefully Ruto had the chance to confess to Junkyu hyung one day. As long as he is happy, I will route for them.

Haruto frowned when he read the sentence while waiting for his lecturer to come. He tries to cope with the meaning of that phrase but it doesn't flash in his memory. "Have I ever said that I like Junkyu hyung?" he mumbled in silence.

23 July 2018

I followed Jihoon to his friend's birthday party today. Jaehyuk hyung i think. I'm not really remembered. But he is nice. I can't believe Jihoon has a friend as charming as Jaehyuk hyung. Not to forget to mention his friend who is an outer space beauty. He is cute. Asahi? Is that his name? He is Japanese too I guess since I heard he talked with Ruto which I can't understand. I thought Jihoon's friends are more like him, but to my surprise they all have different vibes and most importantly they are really nice.

Ah...Yedam hyung...Doyoung's friend. His voice was really breathtaking. I never met anybody who can sing as good as him. I really wanted to talk to him earlier but I was too shy. I will ask Jihoon to invite him to my birthday party next time. It must be really nice to have someone like him singing in my party.

8 September 2018

I went shopping with Ruto today. If I don't think about the purpose of our meeting, maybe I could be the happiest person today because I can spend the whole day with him. It was like a date but in reality it was not. September is the month of my birthday, but I can't believe it's also Junkyu's. I can tell Ruto loves him so much by the way he carefully chooses the present that he needs to buy. He really took care of every detail that suits Junkyu hyung. I know it's supposedly wrong for me to feel this way, but looking at another side of him today, makes me fall harder. Have I ever got the chance to have someone as caring as him too? and....is it too much for me to wish that he is the one for me?

Haruto gulped in silence when he read the last sentence. His inner self felt suffocated. Feels like he wants to shout as loud as he can. He clenched his hands and tried to calm himself. "Jeongwoo..." the name suddenly spilled on his lips. His breath felt heavy since he realized that he missed the said person so much. He wants to hold that person badly and confess to him his real feelings. He pulled a keychain that was attached to his beg. It had worn out but since it was the only thing that was left with him which relates to Jeongwoo. He used to keep it safe in the box before but after he started reading the diary, he decided to use it again. His mind that was busy reminiscing all their moments together got distracted by the appearance of his lecturer in front of the lecture hall. He closes the diary and keeps it safe in his bag and gives his attention towards the class.

9 September 2018

Happy Birthday Kim Junkyu! Beautiful, kind and very lovable person. I envy you so much, hyung. Maybe because it's you, I will willingly step back.

Has Ruto confessed to him already? I bet today will be the perfect time to do so.

Me right now.... (T T)

"If only you knew that I never had thought to confess toward him." mumbled Haruto while sitting alone in the cafeteria when the class finished.

"Hey Ruto." Haruto headed up when he heard Asahi's voice. They decided to meet up since Asahi's workplace was near that place. Asahi and Jaehyuk worked as kindergarten teachers since they love kids so much.
"Have you waited for long?" asked Jaehyuk.
"No hyung. I just came too." replied Haruto with a smile.
"What are you reading?" Asked Asahi when notice the book in Haruto's hand.
"Ah..it's nothing." Haruto quickly shoved the diary into his bag. He doesn't want any of them to know about that. Reading someone's diary is already bad, but the real reason is that he doesn't want them to know his longing towards Jeongwoo which he kept deep inside his heart.