Finding Jaime

Chapter 54

Pete POV

"Okay, Jaime," the technician said. "Lay back, put on these headphones. I'm going to put this mask over your face. This button, you'll hold on to and if for any reason you need help or you need to get out of the machine, press it and we'll bring you right out. There's a camera and a microphone inside so we can see and hear you, too."

Jaime nodded. He'd been through this before. I watched as he lay down, the MRI mask was placed in its clips and the tech handed him the button and I was moved out of the room.

Wednesday's visit to the neurologist had precipitated this MRI. The neurologist wanted to check for new or worsening damage from Jaime's ... suicide attempt. I hated thinking those words.

I went and sat in the waiting area with Meagan and Marvel. Bronx was with Ashlee and Saint was at a friend's house. Marvel was laying against Meagan with her finger in her mouth.

"Is Jaime gonna be okay?" She asked me.

"He's going to be fine. They're just taking special pictures of his brain inside his head," I said.

"They cutting his head open?" Marvel sat up.

I had to laugh a little.

"No sweetie. The machine is a special machine that takes really cool special pictures of inside your body. Jaime's having some pictures taken and then, when he's done, we'll go to the beach, okay?"

I'd promised Marvel we'd go to the beach and since Jaime had this appointment, he'd agreed to come to the beach with us. We decided to make a day out of it. Saint was sleeping at his friend's house and Bronx would be staying with Ashlee until the weekend.

"We can has ice cream?" Marvel asked.

"We'll, let's see how Jaime does at his test and if he's a good boy, we can get ice cream."

Marvel nodded and lay back on Meagan again. She was understandably bored. Meagan had given her her phone so she could watch videos while we waited.

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Meagan asked me.

"He'll be fine. It's not even invasive. He doesn't even have an IV." I said.

"I meant do you think the MRI will show anything?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to vocalize my fears. I didn't want to admit that I was worried there was any sort of severe damage. I didn't want my son, who'd already faced so many challenges recently, to find his already very changed life to be even more challenging. He dealt with the frustrations of finding out his life was no longer completely anonymous. He was taking that in stride. It was actually impressive how once the initial shock of his changed life faded, he'd begun to come to terms with it all. 

But his overdose in the spring had made things more difficult for him. There had been more scrutiny on us after Jaime's overdose. There was speculation as to his reasons and not a little blame sent my way, too. The internet can be cruel, but knowing the truth, I didn't pay much attention to it and we'd released a statement once Jaime was stable explaining some of what happened and why.

Jaime came out of the MRI suite and went into the change room to change out of the hospital pants they'd made him put on so there was no metal on him. He came back out in his swim trunks and t-shirt.

"Okay," he said.  "I'm done. Can we go?"

"Did they say anything?" I asked.

"The doc should have the results in a week. They'll call us if they need to. They didn't tell me anything." 

I nodded.

Marvel hopped off Meagan's lap and jumped up on Jaime, who grabbed her under the arms and swung her onto his hip.

"Want a shoulder ride?" He asked her, his smile coming back.

"Yes please, Jaime!" She cheered. Jaime lifted her over his head and settled her on his shoulders.

"Remember, you're a lot taller now. Watch out for door frames, okay?  They can bite."

Marvel giggled.

"You silly, Jaime," she laughed. "Is you finished having pictures of you head?"

"Yup. For now, anyway," he said nonchalantly. I hoped he wasn't hiding worry. Or, if he was hiding it, it was just so Marvel wouldn't worry. I'd try talking to him tonight after Marvel went to bed.

We left the hospital and drove to the beach. Since Jaime's appointment had been over lunchtime, we went to a cafe on the beach and had lunch before going and setting up on the beach. I knew of a few beaches where tourists were less likely to be, and therefore it was more likely we'd have a nice, quiet family afternoon.

Meagan and I set up the beach towels, umbrella, cooler of drinks and snacks and our big beach blanket while Jaime helped Marvel with her life jacket.

"Ready to swim, Mar?" He asked as he pulled off his t-shirt. She nodded and jumped and clapped. Jaime picked her up and ran towards the water. I could hear Marvel squealing with laughter.

"He seems okay," Meagan said. "Like, physically, he seems okay. He's running and walking fine. Maybe that episode in London was a one-off?  Maybe it was some leftover from the seizure that made him mess up the word?"

I had to agree.

"I hope so. I guess we'll know better in a week or so. I just want him to be well. He's had so much change and frustration and upheaval in just a few short months, I really think he needs a win right now. Did he seem... I don't know ... off, a little, after the MRI?" I asked Meagan.

"In what way?  He seemed okay."

"I don't know. Distracted, maybe? Worried?"

"If he is or was, he has reason to be. I didn't notice anything specific."

"I'm going to have a chat with him after Marvel goes to bed. Just sort of, check in. Make sure that if he is worried about something, he knows he can talk to me, to us, about anything and we'll do what we can to make things easier or better for him."

"You're a good dad, Pete," Meagan smiled and leaned over to give me a kiss. "Jaime, and the rest of the kids, are lucky to have you as their dad."

We were interrupted by a piercing scream.