Finding Jaime

Chapter 58

Jaime POV
Dad tried to be positive and upbeat but it really wasn't helping. He'd had Bronx and Saint home on Friday night and we had dinner and watched movies together. Sunday, before I had to be at the hospital, we went out for dinner. Dad and I took one car and Meagan drove the kids in the other. Because from dinner Dad and I had to get me admitted to the hospital for my surgery in the morning.

My nurse seemed nice but I wasn't in the mood for nice. She started an I.V. and a while later gave me something to sleep.

I guess I slept through the night. I don't remember waking up until the nurse woke me up in the morning. And someone with some weird voice. I threw off the covers and saw Brendon, Dad's friend, and Meagan.

Nora put something in my I.V. and after a little - not too long - I felt woozy and tired. The porters helped me move onto the stretcher and I lay down.

I told Dad I love him and Dad said he loved me. I just hoped I'd see him after my surgery.

I was wheeled into the operating room where a bunch of people all masked were standing. The porters moved me over to the operating room table. I was no help. I couldn't control my body much anymore.

"Okay, Jaime, I'm going to put this mask on your face," the doctor at my head said. "Count backwards from ten, and breathe deeply but normally."

"Ten... nine... eigh.... Seven..."

I opened my eyes and I was in that black room like when I took the pills. But I could move around more. I looked around for a door or something.

"Hello? Anyone here? Jon?"

A door opened and I saw my mom again.

"Jaime?" She asked. "Jaime. What are you doing here again?"

"Mom!" I said, approaching her. I could reach her. I reached out for her and she stepped back.

"Jaime. What happened? Why are you here? What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything. Mom, I have a mass in my brain. I'm having surgery for it and I'm really scared. What if it's cancer? What if it's the same cancer you had? What if I die?"

"Jaime. Oh. Oh no. Oh, Jaime. I had no idea. I'm so sorry, honey."

She wrapped her arms around me and I cried like when I was five and fell off my bike and scraped my knee.

"Jaime, it's not your time. I don't know why you're here right now, but it's not your time," Mom said.

"I don't want to die, Mom. But what if I do?"

"Jaime, I'll be here for you. But it's not your time. I want you to fight. Okay? Fight hard. Harder than I did."

"CLEAR!" I heard over, I guess, an intercom. Mom backed away from me and I felt something like electricity shock my body.

"Go back, Jaime. It's not your time. I love you. I'm waiting, but not yet."

"CLEAR!" I felt that jolt again. Then I was falling through darkness. Then just, sort of, floating.

There were sounds. I could hear sounds, but I was still in this weird darkness. I didn't hurt. I couldn't feel any pain, I wasn't hungry or thirsty. I guess I was comfortable. The sounds I could hear sounded like voices and music. But it was just barely perceptible. Like, I could hear it but I couldn't make anything out.  Then it got louder and louder and my head started hurting. 

"Can someone turn down the music?" I asked.

"What?" I heard a voice say. "What was that Jaime?  Say it again."

I felt something near my face. I tried again.

"Turn down the music," I said. I heard laughing. It was also too loud.

"What did he say?" A voice asked.

"He asked for the music to be turned down," the laughing voice said. Man, did my head hurt.

"Jaime," a quiet voice near me said. "Jaime, it's Dad. Can you hear me?"

"Uh huh," I said. I tried opening my eyes but they hurt too much, too.

"Jaime. You're okay. The surgery went well. The doctor said they think they got the whole mass out and they didn't have to disturb much."

"Okay," I said. I didn't understand what Dad was saying but it sounded like I should agree.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"My head hurts," I whined. I didn't care. I hurt. I need something for the pain. I don't care if I sound like a baby.  I'm in a lot of pain.

"Jaime, it's Nora," I heard a little later. I felt her hand on mine. "Your dad says you're in some pain. I brought you a painkillers okay?"

"Uh huh," I mumbled. I could feel tears slipping from my eyes. "It really hurts."

"I know sweetie. The medicine is in your I.V. You should start feeling better soon. Okay?"

"Uh huh," I mumbled again. I didn't want to move my head. Why did my head hurt so much?

I whined.

"What is it, Jaime?" Dad asked.

"Why does my head hurt so much?" I asked.

"You just had surgery, on your brain. Let the medication work. You're going to be okay."

I know I fell asleep because I had some weird dreams. Sounds were distorted and nothing seemed real.

I woke up, I don't know how much later. Dad was sitting beside me. It was dark outside and dark in the room. I didn't recognize this room.

"Where am I?" I asked. Dad's head sprang up. His eyes were red. He'd been crying? Maybe?  He looked terrible.

"Jaime!" He said, standing up and coming closer to me. "You're awake!"

"You look like shit," I said to him.

He laughed but he sounded sad still.

"Thanks for that," Dad said. "How do you feel?"

"My head hurts, but not as bad as before. Where am I?" I asked again.

"You're in the hospital. You had surgery on Monday for a mass in your brain. Do you remember?"

"Yeah," I said getting tired again.

"You had a rough couple of days after surgery but you're on the mend I think."

"Okay," I said, falling asleep again.  I felt Dad's hand in mine. He squeezed. I squeezed back. And then fell into a dreamless sleep.