Justin Trudeau Investigation Case: One-Way Ticket To Pluto

Chapter Six - Meyer Caravan

Planet Rimworld,

Milton,

01st Jugust 5501

20th day on the planet

The battle with the Pest Unit proved to be another underestimation of our current base. We still didn't need barricades or anything like that for now. It seems that Dei's story about Cassandra Classic and other characters from the "Rimworld" mental institution was true. I had Dei calculate for me the difference in the value of our colony between the first and second attacks, and according to her calculation, it came out to be several thousand dollars difference. The first attack occurred as a fixed threat, with one attacker, while at the value of eighteen thousand dollars, we experienced an attack of the same intensity. I'll have to see if there's a difference in how we build the colony combined with weapons and defenses, although my priority right now is to turn the current garden into a real field, I'll leave that until I finally equip myself with the most necessary working instruments.

Jose and I finally gave up, on day nineteen on Rimworld, of not listening to Dei, and put the corpse of the unnamed assailant in the fridge, mentally preparing to butcher the current shell of a former man. We played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would hold the knife over the man, and since neither of us could make a surgeon or a psychopath do the job, we eventually gave up after steadily increasing the number of wins required. The corpse stayed in the fridge, frozen along with all the other crap, waiting for another chance to be turned into a cowboy hat, and stew.

Dei and Gard were extremely talkative AI programs, I didn't really expect them to talk to each other this much, but they were probably preprogrammed to share information with each other, and analyze the situation from all possible angles. Sometimes it would seem to me that Dei and Gard are belittling us, but I can't blame them, they have to listen to two idiots, who have no idea whose IQ hits a bigger negative. 

On the other hand, Jose's and my conversations were no better. When we weren't working, we didn't talk about anything excessive. Jose would play chess or throw horseshoes, walk a bit in the woods, looking for entertainment, while I liked to spend my self-social time, sometimes going to the hills, lying on the ground, and looking at the stars. A special day was after one of Rimworld's two moons created a total eclipse. Dei said that situations like this can be extremely fucked if the colonies depend on solar energy for electricity. Luckily we had a wood-fired generator, and I thought I'd listen to Dei and try to explore the secrets behind bio-chemical fuel harvested from shit and use that fuel for a generator. The only problem is that the latrines fill extremely slowly.

But again, an interesting idea to consider, but only to consider, because I noticed in Dei and Gard's catalog that there is an option for one-way, ultra-fast travel using transport pods. Solar energy, transport capsules, and certain life-changing options were the primary target of my research. As for the rest, it didn't really matter to me, although I could ferment the alcohol, it wouldn't be a bad idea.

On that occasion, while I was planning to expand our base, creating a multi-purpose workshop, calculating electricity consumption, and checking that we have enough supplies, Dei informed me that a message from The Exodus Empire was coming, but that it was not too important, as far as our endgame goal is concerned. However, I told her to note and save that message, because Jose and I would check it together later. Without further ado, I drew up a plan map for the workshop, and another plan map for expanding the garden, turning it into a field, and possibly raising alpacas for transport if I needed transport.

For that, I planned several days of chopping and loading wood, long sowing of rice and corn, planting potatoes, as well as sowing strawberries. I didn't need cotton so much, considering that in these conditions human skin will come in handy because it doesn't make a big difference in these weather conditions, and considering that my ideology agrees with the idea of cannibalism, I believe that the fact that they someone's testicles are on my head won't bother me. God FUCKING dammit...