CHASE POV*
the prom was coming up so i decided that i would talk to brandon about everything before we finished our last year at school. i texted brandon that i wanted to talk to him so we agreed on meeting at his house.
when i arrived there he was waiting for me in his living room.
"hey chase" he stood up to kiss me but i pulled away. "did i do something wrong?"
"no. i just have to tell you something."
"you know you can tell me anything right?" he gave me a soft smile. "i will also tell you something later okay?"
"okay" i exhaled deeply.
"what is it chase?"
"brandon i have done something horrible."
"oh" i didn't say a word "well?"
"i kissed will."
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BRANDON POV
at that moment i felt empty. words couldn't explain how much i wanted to die then, how much i wanted to disappear. i felt every emotion: anger, sadness, emptiness, rage. i wanted to kill will, i wanted him to disappear from my life. he ruined everything. i wanted to get up and leave but i couldn't. i couldn't say anything to chase. i mean- what would i say? the only person i trusted has betrayed me. my whole body felt numb. why would he do it? when did he do it? i felt my vision getting blurry. i didn't know what to do. my entire body started shaking and i felt tears about to fall down on the ground.
"brandon?" chase looked at me concerned. i couldn't say anything. i couldn't even look at him in his eyes. "brandon please just say something."
"what?" thats all i managed to say.
"are you okay?"
"yea." i was fully shaking. "chase why....why did you do that?"
"i don't know."
"what do you even know?" i started sobbing "chase do you even think about what youre doing?"
"no."
"chase you came to talk to me. just say anything. when did this happen?"
"when you invited us to watch a movie."
"oh."
"im so sorry brandon."
"just please say that you still love me. say that it was just a mistake even if it is just a lie. how could you do this to me chase? how could you do this to someone you loved? what did i do to deserve this? all i have given to you was my love chase. all i ever wanted from you was your love. i asked for too much i guess. at least tell me that you haven't relapsed." all of a sudden he showed me his wrist, then the second wrist, then his leg, then another one. i couldn't take it anymore.
"im so sorry brandon. i never wanted all of this to happen. i wanted to live a happy life with you. i wanted to be with you. you have no idea how much i want to die right now. i don't know who i am. i am not the chase i used to be. i want the old chase brandon. the one that you fell in love with. the one that would never betray you. the one that would love you forever....."
"so you are telling me that you dont love me anymore?"
"no thats not what i meant brandon."
"then what do you mean?"
"i dont know."
"you know what?" i took out an envelope out of my pocket and handed it to chase. "take this and get out please. just dont open this until you get home."
"okay bye brandon."
"wait chase!"
"what is it?"
"can we please kiss one last time?"
"okay." i grabbed him as soon as he said okay and i pulled him in for a kiss. i wish i could do that again but i wouldn't be able to do it. "goodbye brandon."
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CHASE POV*
i opened the envelope as soon as i got inside of my house. inside of the envelope was a letter and some pictures of brandon and i. i felt the tears running down on my cheek. before i started reading the letter i noticed there were dried up tear drops on the paper.
the letter said:
dear chase.
i dont know how to write formal letters, i dont know how to properly express my emotions and feelings. im just a boy who isn't sure about any decision he makes. i wanted to tell you this in real life but i could not. if you're reading this that means than im already gone. im leaving this town. im going to England to study at a college. i will miss you a lot chase. i wanted to be yours forever but i guess i couldn't because you deserve someone who will spend every second of his life with you and i guess i cant really do that from a different country. i love you chase. more than anything and anyone. more than i could ever love anyone. i love you. i love you. i love you. i dont know how many times i will write i love you but all i want to say right now is that sentence. theres nothing else that i feel right now, only my love towards you. i hope you dont get too mad at me and i hope that if we can't work out in this life we can be together in another life. i don't know if i will ever return here but even if i dont i will still love you. even if you find somebody else that will take better care of you than i did. you will forever be my amoureux du clair de lune."
there was a little heart drawn next to the last sentence. i was shaking. his messy handwriting, the fact that he could never write a letter but still managed to write one for me. i felt like shit. i guess this was a final chapter. is this how it all ends?
