waiting for miracle

heartbreak

It was raining heavily when I woke up. I had no idea where I kept my cellphone, I got too drunk to remember. There were papers crippled in balls all around my bed , on floor some on  study table. I had throbbing pain in my head. What happened night before? I was upset about something I can't remember. Lets say I was just upset, upset of the fact that my crush had someone as his love interest. It broke me. I have not even met him and it felt worst than an actual break up. When I returned home mom told me that they all were going to my uncle's place , well it was a family emergency so I could understand mom and dad leaving on a short notice. They were going to return next week. Thank god I atleast can cry in peace now. I went to fetch a taxi for them and bought cigarettes and rum for myself. It was going to be a long night. The first thing I did was locked the doors properly. I don't have a lot of habit of staying all by myself. Switched of my cellphone, after texting mom and dad I was going to  sleep. I thought of calling mini and Ryan but what would I say if they ask me why I was this upset? Because I have a star crush ! Because he loves someone else! I will sound totally crazy.it was better to cry alone . With a cigarette and a glas of rum in left hand and pen in other, I was writing poems. I had to tell someone how I felt even if its just a paper. So yeah that's all. Now I have to get up and clean the mess I made. After gettig done with everything I finally checked my phone . Called mom told her I was safe fine alright. I saw message from an unknown number. It was from an old friend of mine. She wanted to meet me . She asked me to come to the sand beach at 7pm. It was raining heavily, is she mad or something? I won't go.
By the time it was 6pm , I got fed up sitting at home , I gave up , I should Atleast meet her once , what was the point of sitting at home idle. So I somehow grabbed a pair of denim hot shorts and a hoody , got dressed , made a bun . It dint make any difference. I was still looking so pathetic. I applied kohl, liner , mascara and a lip crayon. Finally I was looking a bit presentable. Looking good always lifts up my mood . I knew going to beach wasn't the best idea and umbrella would do nothing in such a heavy rain . There wasn't even a point of carrying it so I left it at home itself. The fresh air made me feel light, I was sulking before , now I was feeling as if I am flying like a bird. Yes I was still high. I drank in afternoon too. With this mood, I know the meeting was going to be awesome. Atleast my day will be a bit eventful.