waiting for miracle

nothing comes easily

Ever since I have returned from my short trip to Dylan's house I can't get my mind off my crush. He lives in the same town but I had been there since childhood, we never met , I wish we had met earlier , this story might have turned out to be something else. There is a huge level of difference between us now which can't be overcomed. He is the only thing I can think about. I am behaving as a love sick puppy except I am not wiggling my tail behind him. I am doing the vice versa. When I woke up this morning, I received a call from mom asking me how was my health , and I answered her sneezing . She is coming tomorrow. Arghh. I really was happy knowing I had a week by myself but no god had to ruin it all . Now I will have to plaster a fake smile on my face so she doesnt gets worried about Me. Stupid cold!
Self talk time . Think about it Amanda , you just have one day and the weather out there is amazing . What would you like to do ? First clean the house, let air get in !you don't this place smelling like booze and cigarettes. Maybe go out for a walk. Seriously is this my plan for the last day of my freedom? I am exaggerating right? But hey you don't Get your house parents free always . I wasn't going to call Ryan or mini or Anyone for that matter . I could go and meet my school friends. Yes that's perfect , I will distract my mind and its been so long since I have seen nimmi and Karl' s face . Nimmi yeah another Asian. Don't even ask me how I have so many Asian friends. These people have the tastiest food. Period.
Lets make attempt to look better. Honestly it turned out to be more than better. Adding color on my face does all the magic . Its not really that bad to be pale. I wanted to take a walk ,so slowly at a snail's pace I started dragging my feat towards nimmi's complex. Her complex has the prettiest and the largest parks. Teenagers and jobless people like us hangout there .  Guys play football opposite our park so overall its our favorite site and it becomes  quite easy for Karl to walk few meters away from his football mates and meet us. He is the laziest guy you will ever come across. Nimmi and me, we share a really old and good bond. She won't ask me about my issues she knows  I won't let her know but everytime she is around she makes sure to make me laugh like an idiot . We were sitting across each other when somebody tapped my shoulder ,when I turned I gasped
" well look whose here , wow and you look amazing ,all grown up and stuff"
This was my childhood crush right in front of my eyes. I was 12 when I used to like him and he, well me.
"Hey ron, you look really ....wow...tall"
" I am 6.1 babe"
"Babe! Seriously . Grow up"
" can't You see I am already , you tiny tiny"
I remember when we were 12, I used to stand by his side and compare my height to him I was half an inch taller and now I am 5.6 and just look at him, I used to tease him he will never grow taller than me but karma is a bitch, and I am paying back for my sin. Leave the height, he has got quite a runners body and wow just look at his face . He is so handsome and the most important his smile is gorgeous, contagious , it is something which is so bright . I fell for his smile back than.  I was noticing his features and he was talking to nimmi and karl, when my eyes fell on a tiny mole on left side of his upper lip , my crush has tinier than this a little above left lip on the side almost on the outwards of the start of his cheeks, wtf, again! Is there anything which can't remind me of him? Why is this universe wants me sad? I was laughing with my friends but now I don't even feel like stretching those face muscles of mine even for a fake smile. Enough! god seriously? Please spare me!look for your bloody entertainment somewhere else! I made an excuse of having some important work, bid them goodbye and left. I hate when I be in a bad mood and others try to lift it up. Nothing really happens and it makes there mood bad too. I don't like it at all so I had to leave. I wanted to know more about Ron , but phewww until next time for now I have to really get over him. I have to get over something which never began . Something called as my highly stupid star crush. Suddenly I heard a cars honk and in few seconds later I was covered in mud. Way to go. I was on the side of the road and a pothole was covered with muddy water due to rains. It was drizzling . Now the pothole was half empty and I almost covered by mud from head to toe . I am going to sew this driver. I will bloody take out his eyeballs. Theres nothing worse than spoiling the already fucked mood of Amanda waters!
I furiously knocked on his windows with my fist . This guy was beyond. He could have been a gentleman came out and helped me or apologized. He finally rolled it down . I knew it was a guy coz I could see his hairstyle roughly but him again. I hate you god , I loved looking at his face 24*7 but now I want to forget him, one side crushing so madly for him will turn me into a psycho, don't you get it ? Watch out there is war between you and me god!
"You idiot !are you blind?"
"Hi amanda"
"Shut the fuck up, open your eyes and look what you have done to me"
"Oh wow!mud suits you" he said smiling like a jerk.
"I am going to kill you"
" never"
He got out of his car shutting the door a bit loudly than it should have. He looked at me faking a big smile. I know how he smiles, fake ,real,sad, I know him all. Why is he pretending?
"Look, you, from last three days, you are coming in front of my face , someway or the other, but now put an end to it"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I thought You were some mentally disturbed person when I saw you first time, but you are a full time stalker and not to forget jobless"
" are you mad ? You are the one coming in front of my face "
" oh really? You were walking in the sea when you saw me to get my attention . You barged into my changing room again to grab my attention and today you purposely became victim of getting splashed by my car .so tell me whose the stalker?"
"Enough! You act, so keep your stupid stories on your set, a cliche Romantic boy suits you, not Sherlock Holmes and not to forget you suck at being detective, cos you are wrong . From the moment I have seen you for the first time, the only thing i have wished for is not to see you again, so get lost"
" okay, I will gladly, but if I saw you again I will make sure you regret it forever"
" snap out of your dream that's never happening, I have enough to regret"
" I don't care " he hopped back in his car and drove off .
Ofcourse he doesn't cares . I mean look which guy leaves a girl soaked in mud in middle of the road. Only he can because he doesn't cares. Why the hell are these tears falling again? I am insane . Undoubtedly. Lol I am crying . I wanted to have a bad memory of him , I have it now and I am crying how stupid.