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"I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly

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"I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly." — Franz Kafka
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Chapter 85
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Maggie

"Here for the best sister in the world, I have..." My brother passed me with a smile that made me want to barf at its cheeriness. "A good, toasty bagel with cinnamon and butter, and an extra large mocha latte with two pumps of extra youbettereatthisoverpricedshit."

He placed everything in front of me, and I sighed. "I told you I wasn't hungry, Jax."

"After the pain I suffered swiping my card?" he snorted and took a seat across from me. "You are now."

I rolled my eyes, pushing the bagel away. It wasn't from repulsion, since the food looked delicious, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it down. "I'll pay you back, then. I'm not hungry right now."

Jax glanced at the plate, then back at me. "Mags," he said with concern, "You've barely eaten enough for a toddler over the past few weeks. And what you did eat, you've thrown up half the time."

"That's not true." It was. Hopefully, it'd put me out of my misery. "I ate a bowl of pizza rolls last night and a spoonful of ice cream." I had thrown it all up afterwards. "That's as nutritious as it's gonna get, if you ask me."

Jax scowled at my nonchalance, but before he could respond, Tony, who had just returned from the restroom, intervened.

"Here goes my favorite set of twins..." Tony said, glancing between us warily as he took his seat. "What's going on?"

Jax motioned to me. "Just Maggie being stubborn as usual."

Tony didn't look surprised. He placed an arm over Jax's shoulder and sighed. "Maggie, you know we love you, but if you don't eat at least half of the bagel, your brother and I are going to become the most obnoxious roommates ever."

I sighed. "Is that a threat?"

They both nodded.

"I could just run away," I said with a glare at my plate. "You know, save myself the trouble."

"You won't even make it to the condiment station before we tackle you," Jax threatened, earning a kiss of agreement from Tony. "Finish half of it, and then and only then, can you leave."

My stomach churned as I stared at the food. It wasn't about the meal itself but the pain I'd been carrying for the past three weeks. Since leaving Luke, my heart had remained frozen, and every memory, good or bad, haunted me.

People usually said that time heals, but fuck, did they forget to mention how much that time fucking hurts. Everything did.

I thought about him every single minute of every single day, and even in my dreams, he found his way in, and never left. I had only managed to keep the nightmares away with some of his jackets and blankets he had left behind in my car. They couldn't be used forever, though.

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