Secret Admirer || Phan

. Chapter One .

Hey guys! This is a new phan fiction called 'Secret Admirer '. I have had this idea for a while but never really had a chance to actually make it a fan fiction, but here I am. This fic will include some upsetting themes such as self harm and bullying, so if you are upset or triggered by these themes then please do not read this fic as I dont want to upset or trugger any of you beautiful people! I will try and update this once a week and I hope you enjoy it. I also dont want to reveal my name so I will go by 'A' . So here it begins, I hope you enjoy it!

Phils POV

Ugh. Mondays are the worst. I groan as the bleeping of my alarm clock wakes me from my sleep. I hate Mondays so much because they make the weekend seem so far away. And I have school, otherwise known as Hell.

I climb out of bed and get changed into my attire of some black skinny jeans, a random patterned tee, and a pastel purple sweater. People bully me for how I dress becuase apparently its the colours are too 'girly' but I dont believe in colours or anything having a gender. I also place a small flower crown on my head, looking in the mirror, not entirely loving what I see.

I go and brush my teeth and head downstairs, putting on my tv. I dont eat breakfast as I need to lose some weight. Well thats what people at my school say So I am not eating as much as I used to. Maybe then they will accept me... just maybe.

After watching pointless TV shows I find that the time for me to set off for school is drawing near. I really dont want to go. I dont want people to laugh at me and call me names or beat me up. I just want to be accepted by someone..

All too soon , I find myself putting on my pastel blue converse and grabbing my phone and keys befire setting off. The weather wasnt too bad, just slightly cloudy and cold. Typical British weather to be honest. I walk slowly, letting the sound of music drown out the outside world.

I find myself walking through the school gates and an instant feeling of anxiety rushes through my body. Maybe the bullies will leave me alone..I doubt it.

I walk to my locker and opens it , getting out a few books before closing it again. I turn around to find the smirking face of none other than Dan Howell and his friends, Chris and Peej. I just stand there, hoping that they wont be too harsh today. Of course, I was wrong.

"Hello Lester, hows life being a fag?" Dan spits at me, still smirking.

I just stay silent and hope that they will get bored and leave me alone. But their words just keep on coming.

"Yes Phil? How is it knowing that no one cares about you ?" Chris laughs. How could someone find humor in someone elses pain?

"Chris, shut up, poor Phil over here is too gay to know that no one cares about him. He would be better off dead , it would do everyone a favour" Peej speaks casually as if im not even here.

I feel the tears start to sprout and soon enough I am trying to hold them back.

Dan laughs coldly and speaks, "Oh look boys, hes crying"

The boys just laugh as I feel some tears roll down my cheeks. I just dont understand why they hate me so much. What did I ever do to them that made them treat me like this.

Once the boys finish their laughing and cold remarks, Dan shoves me into the lockers as he walks past, and the other two boys following him as if he is some sort of God or something.

I wipe away my tears and walk to my first lesson of what I already knew what was going to be a long, painful day.