Secret Admirer || Phan

.chapter 12.

Hey guys! I'm sorry this has been updated later than I said it would but I wanted it to be perfect for you guys because I feel bad about making you all wait for so long. Sooo here it is haha 🍃

warning/ mentions of abuse

Dan-

I just stared at the text, my heart stopping. No. How dare his dad hurt my precious little Phil. What am I saying? He's not mine..And I hurt him too. But I can't stand the thought of him in his room alone, crying and hurt. He needs someone with him, to comfort him. I could be that person, although I doubt he would want me of all people around him. I make him feel the same way as his dad does. He really doesn't deserve to feel like that. He deserves to feel beautiful. He is beautiful. Every ounce of that boy is beautiful. I just wish he saw that. I wish I could show him that.

I quickly text Phil, telling him not to leave yet, so I could try and make him feel better but I didn't get a reply. I hardly got any sleep that night. I was worrying about him so much.

I really don't understand how I could like someone as much as I like him. I haven't even had a proper conversation with him in person.

The next morning I got out of bed and slowly got ready for school. I was so tired, and I really didn't want to go to school. The only reason I'm going is so I can see Phil; I want to make sure he's okay..

I sit down and write him a note:
Phil,
I hope everything is okay. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to protect you. I really wish I could. I despise your father for even laying a finger on you. He's pathetic and doesn't deserve a son as perfect as you. You are beautiful, cute, special, flawless, perfect. You are perfect in every aspect. Please never forget that Phil.
From
-D xxx

I decided to add the D to give him a little clue. I'm probably just going to give him more clues over a period of time so he can guess it's me for himself. So he can get used to the fact it's me..

I know he'll probably never talk to me again when he finds out its me but, I still Have a small ounce of hope.

I get up and walk to school, quickly slipping the note in to his locker. I go to Chris and Peej and zone out as they ramble on about nothing. God I wish I had gone to sleep; but I was too worried about Phil.

I glanced over and saw Phil read the note, blushing a little and smiling to himself. God his smile was flawless. He then looked around, slightly confused. I assumed he was trying to figure out who 'D' was. He didn't even look at me though. He didn't even consider me as an option. But in all honesty I don't blame him. I cause him to think I hate him.

The school day dragged on. I didn't go anywhere near Phil and Chris and Peej questioned me on this.

'I just can't be arsed today guys' I sighed a little.

'..Right..okay..' Peej replied.
'What?' I asked, confused.
'You're acting different recently Dan. Especially towards Phil. You don't like him. Do you?'

I paused, trying to think of something to say.

'N-no..of course I don't..I-I mean..I-I..' I looked down, then not believing a word I said.
'What the fuck Howell? What is wrong with you? You know everyone hates Phil and that he's a disgusting faggot. Why are you being so idiotic?' They both looked at me, waiting for an answer.

'B-because I have a crush on him..' I whispered, barely audible. But they heard.

'Fucking faggot' Chris said, walking towards me. He was going to hurt me. I could tell, but I didn't care. I deserved it. I deserve all the pain I'm about to get.

To say they hurt me is an understatement. They hurt me a lot more than I thought they would. I stood up, my legs shaking slightly from pain. I ached everywhere. I had bruises on my stomach, arms, face. I needed to get home. I stumbled out of school and all the way to my house. Luckily my parents were at work so I didn't have them asking why I was in this state. I went up to my room and collapsed on my bed.

All I wanted right now was Phil.