Kept For Heir

58

Have you ever felt wall of your heart constricting so badly that the only thing you want in that particular moment is die, have you ever gone through something so bad in your life when you felt that your eyes are no longer shedding tears but blood, have you ever so desperately wanted earth to split open and swallow you whole? or Have you ever so badly just wanted to scream scream and scream untill you can no longer speak, that's all Princess Anika was feeling at that exact moment, the walls around her heart were constricting so badly that it was getting hard for her to breathe the tears she has held back into her eyes were burning in her eyes, she has never seen him so heartbroken before and she has never felt like this for another person before, she so badly wanted to keep everything aside and wrap her arms around him, to respond to kiss he has gifted her with a minute ago, to hide her face somewhere in his chest and cry her heart out, to scream untill her throat get sore but she couldn't, she knew she has to be strong, she cannot give in today, not when not only her but her children has gone through a lot along with her, She still cannot forget the way she has delivered her children shivering in pain and fear, the one moment which was supposed to be most beautiful moment of her life has turned out her biggest nightmare and all because she was dragged into a mess she hasn't taken part in.

"Anika" King Shivay's voice broke as thick tears stream down from his eyes, Abhram decided to step out of the chamber and signed Sara to do so but she shook her head negatively and remained glued on Anika's side "Don't do this please" he begged to her and took her hands in his "I got you and our son back after a month and I am no where ready to loose any of you, I thought we both are past to that horrific starting of us" he looked straight into her lifeless eyes for any kind of emotion but it was all blank as if those beautiful chocolate doe eyes has no life.

"We were untill you reminded me of my place and what I am your majesty" She retorted looking straight into his beautiful blue eyes which his little beautiful baby has inherited " You got the child Your Majesty, you have your wives, you have your Kingdom, Go back to it and leave us alone" and a drop of tear found it's way out of her eyes falling down on her lap.

"But I don't have you, I don't have our youngest child" he pressed.

"We cannot have every thing we want Your Majesty" Princess Anika whispered "If we could then I wouldn't have been in this place giving birth to a child out of wedlock in first place" she fisted the bedsheet to control herself to speak anymore, she doesn't want to give away anything, she doesn't want him to be aware about the pain the hurt and the anger she has been suffering from, she just wants him to leave her alone.

"I can and I will" his eyes hardened as he looked straight into hers 'I can and I will, I will have you by every mean Anika and no one can stop me' as much as he so badly wanted to scream it out and let her know this and also that she only belongs to him and there is no way he is letting her go today or tomorrow he didn't, he caressed her face and was disappointed when she didn't close her eyes and lean on in his touch like always but he didn't let it show on his face.

"What do you want?" He asks lovingly and shifted close to her, but she shifted away in response stopping him from shifting and coming any closure.

"To be free, To be free from all this" 'to be free from the intense pain in my heart, to be free from whatever I am feeling right now, to be free from myself which so badly wants to have all of your attention and all of you' she has spoken first part loudly and screamed the other part in her head.

"You don't want this Anika, You don't" he said with so much tenderness that for a minute she herself was lost in her own thought, deep down she was painfully aware of the truth that she doesn't want to be free, she doesn't want to not see her children ever again, even though she has her one child but heart is aching badly for her other three, her little Sia who always slept in her arms no matter how much anyone told her not to, her little infants who don't even know who their mother is, she so badly wants to embrace all her children and disappear from earth but she also knows that is not how things work.