Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind

Chapter Ten

Hey guys! So, this chapter does have self harm in it. Just wanted to warn you because I don't think I did the last time. So if you're not okay with that, just skip through those parts. I hope you like this chapter!

~*~*~Harry's POV~*~*~

I walked downstairs and threw the pillow and blanket on the couch. God she's been annoying lately. I looked at my watch. It was only 7:30 pm.I grabbed my coat and my keys and left the house.

Why should I be at home, when I could be getting drunk? I pulled into the parking lot of the local bar and got out of my car. I walked into the bar and ordered a couple drinks. There's no way I'm driving home tonight.

~*~*~Alexa's POV~*~*~

Harry is so rude. I wasn't being clingy, was I? Even if I was being clingy, he was being an ass. I got changed into a pair of pajamas and laid down in bed. I couldn't help but to continuously think of what Harry said to me. I'm never going to get to sleep.

I got up and walked downstairs. I've been eating more since I've became pregnant. I can't do anything that's unhealthy for the baby. I went into the kitchen and got a pickle from the fridge.

This has to be a pretty bad craving, because I hate pickles. I finished eating it and went back to the living room and turned on a movie. By the time the movie was over it was 11:00 pm and I realized Harry wasn't home. He's probably off somewhere getting drunk like he always does when he's angry.

I heard the door open, and, surely enough, a drunk Harry stumbles through the door. I stood up to help him, even though I really didn't want to. "Oh, heyyyyyyy babe..." He said slurring his words. "Hi Harry." I replied trying to help him.

"Come on, let's go upstairs.." I said. "Or, we could stay down here, together." Harry said with a wink. "No, Harry." I said firmly. He pulled me closer and whispered "Yes.." Coldly in my ear.

He started kissing down my neck. I tried pushing him off, but what was the use? "Harry, I'm going to call for Louis." I warned. "Louis is staying over Eleanor's tonight." He said  with a smirk in his tone. I pulled away and slapped Harry in the face, but that only resulted in him slapping me back, but harder, and across my face.

I stared at him in disbelief. I felt a tiny tear trickle down the side of my face. This is not Harry. He is usually so loving and protective of me. He didn't even look like he regretted it. "Aren't you going to apologize Harry?" I asked crying. "Why should I? I've been waiting to do that for a while now." Harry said. 

I walked away into the kitchen to get ice. "Haven't been in there for a while, have you?" Harry said. I know Harry slapped me, and that's one  thing, but him bringing up my eating habits is taking it to extremes.

I grabbed the ice and ran upstairs. "You know what Harry? Don't ever talk to me again." I yelled from upstairs. I went into my room and locked my door. I sat on the bed and held the ice to my face. I went into my bathroom and closed the door, locking it.

I slid down the wall. There it was again, the razor. 'No, Alexa, you have a baby you need to take care of..' I was thinking. But, the negative thoughts flooded my mind. I grabbed the razor and didn't even think about it this time.

I put the cold sharp blade against my warm soft skin and made a small cut. I made another one, but this time a little bigger. And I kept doing the same thing until I had about six cuts on my arm. I was crying hysterically at this point. 

I had to stop the bleeding. I went to the sink and washed the cuts with warm water. I wrapped my arm in gauze and put a hoodie on. Why did I do that? I promised Louis I wouldn't. I couldn't change it now. It's done and over with.

I laid down on my bed and pulled the covers up. I tried to fall asleep, but all I could feel was the blade. I couldn't stop reliving it. I've done it before, but never this bad. I got out of bed and walked downstairs, because I knew I was never going to get to sleep.

It was around 6 am when Harry walked down. He sat down next to me. "What do you want?" I asked in a sharp tone. "I'm sorry." He said.

"Oh, don't be. You've been wanting to do that for a while." I said sarcastically. "Do what?" Harry asked. "What a surprise. You don't remember do you?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Well last night you came home completely smashed. And you were really touchy, so I tried to push you off, but you pulled me closer, so I slapped you, and you had no issue slapping me back." I said looking him in the eyes.

"Lex I-" He said but I stopped him. "You know what Harry, that's not all. You also brought up the fact that I don't eat enough, and I told you all about that.." I said.

"I-I'm sorry..." He said looking down. "Oh, and these," I said showing him my wrists. "Are because of you Harry." I finished. He was crying. I honestly don't care, he has no reason to cry.

"I hadn't done it for about 5 months, but you drove me to again, so thanks."  I said.  He tried to hug me. "Don't ever touch me again Harry." I said. I was pissed. 

"Listen, I know that you don't want to forgive me now, and you probably never will, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend. I'm sorry for hurting you. I love you Alexa, and I know that what I did last night was wrong, but I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing, or else I wouldn't have done it." Harry said.

All I wanted was for him to hold me, I don't want to forgive him now. "Thank you for apologizing." I said. He nodded and opened his arms to hug me. I flinched thinking he was going to hit me, like last night.

"Oh great, now look what I've done." Harry said and put his face in his hands. I know Harry didn't mean any of it, but he's not going to be completly forgiven until at least tomorrow. I stood up and hugged him.

He put a small kiss on my cheek. "Ow! God Harry!" I winced holding my cheek. "I didn't mean to. I was just trying to-" Harry said. "Harry, it's fine. My hormones right now are causing me to overreact to everything." I said. "Oh, okay.." He said. He was obviously very confused by this pregnancy thing.

"And don't worry about Louis. As long as this never happens again, I won't tell him." I said. Harry looked at me deeply in the eyes. "I love you, so, so, much.." Harry said with a hand on my stomach. I smiled.

In that moment, I could picture Harry and I holding our baby girl. I can finally see Harry becoming the great father I know he can be.

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I hope you lied it! I updated so close together because it took me forever to update the last time. So I really hope you liked it. Vote, Comment, Fan xxx