Feelings about the unknown

Part 12

Sam's POV

Why am I doing this? Why am I staring at Colby through the window? This makes no sense. Last night was a mistake, I should not be focused on Colby right now. I need to focus on how I am going to tell Kat what happened. Should I tell her? I shake my head at the thought of keeping this from her. Of course, I need to tell her, even if doesn't want to be with me anymore, I need to be honest with her. While thinking about this I can feel tears start to threaten to leave my eyes. I close them tightly letting a tear escape. I tried to carefully wipe it away making sure Colby did not see me. I look back at the window to see Colby glance over in my direction. I quickly got on my phone, not wanting him to talk to me.

I swipe across my home screen trying to find something interesting and to make it seem like I am doing something. Suddenly, I saw a text from Kat "Can we call later please?" I freeze at the sight of the message. I begin to reread it; I can feel my heart start to beat fast with every word. I put my phone down, noticing I was about to tear up again. How am I going to tell her? I found myself getting lost in thought as I looked out the window, watching the flat earth go by. I am entranced by the landscape until I notice Colby again. I begin to study his features. Like always he is wearing something black. His black tank top is positioned smoothly over his chest and stomach. Seeing this, I am quickly reminded of the actions of last night. I get a vivid memory of how it felt to stroke his stomach and side while our lips were locked together. His eyes were so nervous when I investigated them, like he was keeping something from me. What could he be hiding? Or what exactly could he be repressing?

I begin to cringe at myself for thinking of last night and at my current thoughts. I need to try to sleep so I don't think about this anymore. I sit up slightly so I can put my hoodie over my head and lay down. While sitting up I see Colby's eyes quickly shoot my way as if he was waiting for me to do or say something. "What?" I say in a dry toned voice. I put my hood on looking down at my knees trying not to look in Colby's direction. "Are you okay?" Colby says in a low voice looking at the road then back at me. I quickly nod in response and grab the car seat handle to lean the seat down. I move it down to where I was almost laying completely flat "Tell me when we are there". I move to my side facing the door and away from Colby. I bring my knees up a little bit to where they are almost against my chest. I bring my hoodie down my face more and slowly close my eyes.

A few hours before

Colby's POV

I close my eyes, scared he might see the truth, our tongues begin to dance the night away. In this moment, nothing mattered. Only him and I, and the passion we were experiencing together. I never want this to end. With our lips still locked in place I slightly grab Sam's hips and hold them down onto mine. I gently grind up, feeling pressure on my lower member. Sam pulls away from the kiss and I immediately go to his neck. I begin to kiss down it, hearing Sam breathe heavier, I gently bite down causing him to slightly moan.

"Stop..." Sam says in his breathy voice. I stop immediately, frozen, not knowing what to do or say. I moved my head from his neck and looked up at him trying to see what was wrong. His face was red, and he was still breathing heavily. "Are you okay?" I ask him while slightly rubbing his hips, seeing if I can calm him down. Sam glances over at me with tears in his eyes. I can feel the blood leave my face and my heart sink. I wonder if I did something wrong. Sam quickly gets off me and sits on the side of the bed staring down at the floor. I sit up and look at Sam whose back was facing me, my vision starts to go blurry. I blink, feeling a wet streak go down my face. I continue to look at Sam. I hear him breathe in deeply. He looks up at the ceiling and wipes his face, sniffling in the process. I raised my hand and started to reach towards his back wanting to comfort him.

"I am going to sleep on the couch tonight." I hear Sam say as he stands up, my hand just slightly missing his body. He goes over to the couch and lays down facing the back of it with his knees to his chest. I am left there with my hand still in the air, not knowing what happened or what to do. I look down at my lower body, just 2 minutes ago Sam was touching me as if he wanted me, but I guess not. I lay down facing away from where Sam was, I reached up and turned the lights off. I lay there in the dark with only the sound of my inner thoughts telling me everything I did wrong, at this point I can not help but to cry. Did I just mess everything up?