The Silver Seer

Chapter 5: Scars of a Hero

"Can we make a quick stop?" My voice quivers as I speak.

"Your wish is my command, General Adelric." The pilot looks back at me, offering a reassuring nod.

"Forchheim. I won't be long; I just want to visit something there." I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Will do. I'll be waiting for you."

That was the conversation I had before I ended up here, standing in the middle of the plaza, looking up at a statue.

Walking to the plaza felt as though I was in a dream. The last time I was in Forchheim- nearly three years ago- it was reduced to ash and piles of smoldering debris. Fire consumed my dead comrades as I pointed my pistol at the heads of my superiors- three in all- and killed them without a second thought.

Burning flesh. Gunpowder. Blood. All those scents were present then, and they are present now. They are a constant reminder of Kazimir's betrayal. Of Reko's close call with death. My naivety and inability to observe and react without influence from my emotions.

And now I live in constant fear of another betrayal. Reko coming close to death yet again. More situations where I will have to act not according to what I have been taught for eight years of my life, but on my emotions. In some cases, it is better to have some influence from emotions affect decisions. I talk to all my officers as if they are people with lives beyond serving.

Some people- like Reko, Sigfried, Thilo, and Leon- have lives solely with the military, or have spent a majority of their lives so far serving. But others- Dimitry, Lumi, Hesekiel, Friederike, and Rainier just to name a few- have families, siblings, and relatives waiting at home wherever that may be, and lives they have instead of serving, whatever those lives are. And I respect that.

Sometimes their priorities lie with their families. Sometimes it's with themselves. Sometimes it's anything but the military. Sometimes I wish I were them.

I want a life beyond the military. I want a family, siblings, and relatives who I wish to be around. I want to pick up more hobbies other than walking through a forest and stargazing. They're great hobbies- and I know how to do a few other things, of course- but I can never find the time.

Time. If only there were more than 24 hours in a day. The things I could do...

I look back up at the statue, and realize it looks oddly familiar. But why? Why would they put a statue here, in a place I destroyed? A place in which I was brainwashed to believe I was born? I knew so many people here in my two years serving in Germany, only to get most of them killed when I failed to call attention to the troubling actions of my superiors just days before the mission. If any of those soldiers are still alive, do they still hate me? Will I die on these streets, shot in broad daylight, just to satisfy the deep desire of revenge for one person whose life I made a living hell? Would I be okay with that?

I look down at the plaque near the black marble statue's feet.

Felix Kazier Adelric, Savior of Forchheim, Germany- December 18th, 2032.

Me, a savior? After what I did? After the death and destruction I caused in this very spot, though I cannot remember if I stood here looking out over the mess the bombs had made or if I had put a bullet through my last superior's skull, their eyes still wide with fear?

I close my eyes and exhale. I should head back to the helicopter before I end up spending the rest of the day here, lost in my guilt and regret.

Beginning to walk away, I make it only several paces away from the statue before I see a little boy run out from a nearby house, and straight to the statue. A woman- his mother, most likely- hurriedly rushes from the house, a smile pulling at her lips as she calls out to her son. "Noah, don't forget your cornflower!"