Parents Vs Ninjas

Negotiations

Oh boy. There sure were a lot of ninjas surrounding me. Hundreds, at least. I looked to the door, where my husband Peter stood with the kids. He gave me a thumbs up, despite looking almost as exhausted as I felt.

One big deep breath in.

One big deep breath out.

"Ninjas, I've come to bargain."

A soft chuckle swept the room. At least, it would have been soft, but once you've got a few hundred ninjas all chuckling together, the net effect is anything but quiet. And it didn't help that several of them were less than two meters away. Like being in a locked room with a hundred laughing hyenas.

One ninja with a yellow belt stepped forward. "And what makes you think you're in any position to bargain? You and your husband are clearly on the verge of collapsing where you stand. You've brought The Silent But Deadly to us and have even done us the favor of separating yourself from him. Now we shall claim him for our own and end this farce."

"And then what?" I countered. "Do you think your one clan can fight its way out of here with my son when you're surrounded by ninjas from other clans? In case you've failed to notice, you ninjas have been fighting each other almost as much as you've fought us. I'm not your enemy. I'm the one who can help you come to a peaceful solution."

"And what's in it for you?" demanded a ninja with a green belt.

I laughed. Probably not a great idea, but it just slipped out. "What's in it for me is that this ends. I don't want to have to keep beating up ninjas for the rest of my life."

"A life that might not last much longer anyway," countered that annoying yellow ninja. He drew his katana menacingly.

But I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of being too weak and exhausted. Afraid of losing my family. Afraid of not being enough. But not him. Not this twerp.

"You don't scare me," I said, trying to keep the exhaustion from my voice. "I just think that there are more effective methods that might actually get you what you want."

I broke eye-contact with the yellow ninja and began addressing the crowd, walking in a small circle and turning to face each group in turn.

"Aren't there any of you who can see that with all of you here, the odds for any one clan's victory is small? Isn't there anyone curious to see if there might be a better solution? What do you lose by talking first?"

I stopped pacing and waited.

I watched the ninjas and the ninjas watched me. Hopefully some of them were considering my offer.

The silence stretched uncomfortably long. Was I about to get jumped by hundreds of these stupid ninjas just because they couldn't think past the weapons in their hands?

Finally someone spoke.

"She's got a point," said a female ninja in a red belt. "What do we have to lose?"

"Agreed," said the green-belted ninja. "At the very least we can hear her out first. If she doesn't say anything useful, we can still take the child by force."

The green-belt ninja's words were met with scattered cheers of approval.

"Then let's begin the negotiations!" cried a ninja in a purple belt and then pointedly looked at me. "How do you wish to proceed?"

Once again, the ball was in my court.

"First, I need a leader from each clan to step forward to represent their clan in the negotiations. We'll never get anywhere if all of you want to talk."