This is Fire

TALKING IT OUT (4)

MAYA POV

It's been about 5 days since I dropped Mason off at rehab. I haven't told anyone I've found him; I'm scared that this is all a fever dream and not real, I'm also not super close to everyone where I can share that for the last 6 years my little brother has been homeless and I haven't really looked for him.

It's a Tuesday so it's a normal 12-hour shift instead of 24, which I'm grateful for. About three days ago, Mason called me from rehab just to talk about what's happening. Apparently he's met his therapist and nicknamed her Satan to her face, we both chuckled at that. He also said that the food was better than he thought which is a plus too!

It's early morning, and I've met up with Jack before shift. I wanted to ask him some questions to do with homelessness.

"Hey Jack, I know it's weird that I wanted to meet up with you away from the station" I say with a smile, he returns it and sits down opposite me on a bench.

"It's weird but I'm sure there's a reason why I'm here" he replies, getting straight to the point.

"I haven't told anyone yet, but last week on the call I did with Warren, we found my brother. We found him overdosed in a tent that he'd lived in for God-knows how long. He was taken to hospital and is now in rehab to get clean. Before this call, I hadn't seen him for 6-years and really wasn't expecting him to be homeless." I say, looking down to avoid eye contact.

"That sucks, Maya. But why have you asked me here?" he replies.

"Andy told me that you were homeless for a while when you aged out of the care system. I was sorta wondering if you could give me some pointers or ideas of what he could have gone through. I'm hoping that after he completes therapy that he will live with me but I don't want to force the idea on him" I say, finally making eye contact throughout everything I just shared. I can see Jack's face contort into multiple facial expressions.

"I thought when I told Andy to keep that private, she'd stick to it. Jesus Christ. Uh okay, so everyone has a different experience with homelessness. I was quite lucky; I had a few friends my age and we were able to stick together. Getting out of homelessness is almost impossible at this time, so I think if your brother really wants the support, you will be able to support him financially. Emotionally it's very different, you need to understand that you don't understand" He says, the last few words confusing the hell out of me.

"Maya, I'm saying that you haven't experienced what he has. And because of that, you shouldn't pretend to understand. You should be open to learning about his experiences and being a safe place for him to share, but that is all you can do at this moment in time" Jack carries on and it finally clicks that I don't know Mason at all. Sure, memories are there of the two of us before running happened but other than that, I have no clue who he is.

"Thanks Jack, I'm going to get a quick workout in before shift starts. See you in an hour" I say while walking back to my car.

-

The shift has been going pretty well, I know Mason has his first therapy session today. The one thing I can definitely guess is that he'll hate talking about his feelings and experiences as much as possible. It's always been eyes forwards for me, which is why I absolutely hate when Dr Diane Lewis talks to us about firefighting. Thankfully, we haven't really had many experiences with her in the time I've been at the station. She's been here twice, both because of 5 alarms where a firefighter from another station has died. It's not hard talking about the death of these firefighters because it's expected and I didn't know them personally, but of course it's heart-breaking to hear it. Diane does this thing where she waits for you to talk, as much as I like silence I hate the stares. The two times I've had to talk, I think we've spent the majority of the session in pure silence to avoid talking.